Double Trouble
by awesomenerd95
Summary: Jane makes a new friend, a 14 year old girl who is just as smart as him she's also as damaged as him.Will he find out the dark secrets of her past?She needs his help with what he will discover to be his most important case yet.Oc/Jane friendship Jisbon
1. Chapter 1

I've had this Idea for a while and I really like the concept of Jane meeting someone as smart as him as well as damaged as him, we've also seen how well he is with younger people but how about if that younger person was unlike any other teenager. Well I hope you like reviews would be amazing but please no flames, I'm new to Mentalist fanfiction.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything and the idea of case they work on at the very beginning is from the episode "seeing red" but the story is nothing like the episode :P

14 year old Lilly sat cuffed in a plastic chair in the CBI. Her Long golden locks framed her checks; her misty blue gray eyes were deep set and framed by a main of thick black lashes a dark blue ring out lined the outside of her eye in a dramatic contrast. On the surface she held a strong, confident, joyful composure, but if you looked at her eyes steadily enough you could see deeper, they were dark and mysterious like the shadows that creep in the deepest forests after midnight, the kind that held you captive. Very few people looked close enough to actually see this, and she liked it that way.

She watched with intrigue as a tall curly blonde man and a short brunet questioned the daughter of the victim. The whole thing was quite amusing to her.

"She was slightly unhinged after our father's death; she wouldn't listen to anyone, not even my brother, she was going to cut him off from her will. She was a good person though and for her to just dye in the gutter like that…it's awful." The girl grabbed a tissue and blew her noise.

"I'm so sorry," the small brunette comforted.

Lilly couldn't help but laugh this aroused a reaction from all three, the daughter was shocked, the other women annoyed and appalled and the man intrigued.

"Don't be sorry…she did it." Lilly walked over to the table staring the daughter right in the eye. "Didn't you?" She asked rhetorically. The other woman was confused and still annoyed while the man remained amused.

"What...who are you?" The agent demanded.

"Oh how rude of me," she reached out awkwardly with her cuffed hands and shook the agents, "I'm Lilly Garner."

"And she is the murderer," Lilly said pointing to the now frightened girl.

"It not your fault though, we all understand," Lilly said now directing her attention towards the daughter.

"I don't know what you're talking about"

"I saw the way you hugged your brother before you came in here, I know what it's like to be an older sibling. You'd do anything for them…anything."

"Excuse me you have no right to interrupt my interrogation," The agent exclaimed

"And right now your interrupting mine," The teenager said in fake annoyance, the blondie couldn't help but laugh at that, earning himself a glare from his coworker.

"She wouldn't listen to you, would she? Why wouldn't she just listen to you…you hate when people don't listen, your smart and you know what you talking about people should just listen." She was in the women's face now

"No, it wasn't like that" She said defensively.

"You just wanted to talk to her, right. You didn't want to kill her it was an accident."

"No"

"Admit it!"

"No"

"May I see the file agent," She returned her attention calmly to the brunette

"Hell no…" she began when her pain in the ass consultant butted in

"Here you go," he said grabbing the file from her and handing it to Lilly.

She grabbed it sharing a small smile with him, then pretending to look it over.

"We have evidence miss, fingerprints, even hair follicles."

"How is that possible I thought you found the car that killed her, in the water?" She asked dumfounded not quite admitting the accusation was true.

Lilly let out a light chuckle "Science is pretty advanced theses day…If you admit to this it will be considered a crime of passion, meaning death penalty is of the table and also decreases the chance of you getting life in prison…if not then they will just get you on the evidence…you owe it to your brother, can you imagine mother and father dead and his sister on death row, your all he's got." Lilly bore her grey orbs into the daughters willing her to trust her.

She look down now from the eyes that were intently on her, she felt compelled to trust this strange girl and she didn't know why. "I…I didn't mean to…she just….she just wouldn't listen…I did it for my brother," her eyes now darted from each person trying to gain there sympathy. Lilly nodded her head then rose from her crouched position and without saying a word sat back down in her chair.

The agent gawked in shock, _what the hell just happened. _

The man was smiling quite amused now with the whole situation, even on the verge of laughter.

"Cho…this woman is under arrest for the murder of her mother." She stated almost unbelieving.

"Ok boss," a stoic faced Cho walked over and cuffed the women

"Now I want to interrogate her Lisbon," the consultant said with childish eagerness pointing to this strange new girl.

"Hello I'm Patrick Jane," He walked over to the young girl and for the first time in a long time someone saw past her façade and saw something deeper in those giant grey pools of hers. Something he recognized all too well. Pain.

"You want to explain, how the hell you knew that," Lisbon asked impatiently.

She was like a mini Jane. _Oh god, double trouble. _

Should I continue or forget the whole idea? Let me know


	2. Chapter 2

I haven't gotten any reviews yet so I decided to make it a little more worth your while by giving you more of a hook, please let me know what you think of it. Should I continue or am I wasting my time? Also please keep in mind it's like 12:04 so sorry for any mistakes.

Read,Enjoy,Review

"Very nice to meet you Mr. Jane," She said flashing him a wide mischievous smile.

"You can't just come in here and interrupt my questioning and harass people, then threaten them with fake evidence. There was no evidence against her!" Lisbon said still very agitated.

"I know shame isn't it, but hay at least you have a confession now, right. I think that's as good as evidence, but what do I know I'm not a cop." Lilly said cheekily.

Lisbon sighed loudly, "how did you know it was her."

"Really you don't know why? Wow I'm glad I'm not one of the tax payers that spend copious amounts of money on our police force." Her bright smile was only matched by glares from all except Patrick who looked like he couldn't be enjoying himself more.

"She has a sense of humor," He added to brighten the mood. Lisbon smacked him on the arm.

"I saw the way she was with her brother she cared about him, and when she talked about her mother taking him off her will she was clearly angry and had resentment towards her for not listening to her."

"That's still just guess work," Rigsby said from the corner, the whole team was interested now.

"It's a good motive, but your right not concrete enough to make an accusation of murder, but what does is the fact she knew her mother was found in the gutter." Her eyes danced widely with excitement, solving a puzzle was her high.

"So," The pretty red head stated still confused.

"So how would she know that, you guys don't usually reveal such specifics, If you found out some one was hit by a car you would think the street or the sidewalk, but the gutter? How would she know?" Shocked faces stared back at her. Patrick was the only one that stood up and applauded.

"I'm so interrogating this one!"

Lilly sat in the interrogation room drumming her fingers on the table idly, while a certain agent and consultant argued outside.

"Jane this isn't something we need to deal with, she has a resistance to comply, assault and resistance to arrest charge, last time I checked we dealt with homicide."

"your cops it's your job to enforce the law."

"Not this type of law"

"The law is the law Lisbon, no one's above the law," He chastised playfully.

She rubbed the bridge of her noise _don't shoot him he solves cases._

"Then why is she here?" He suddenly asked.

"She said something about a murder file…

"There you go women, look just give me 10 minutes" He gave her his classic 'you and I both know you're going to give me what I want' look .

"Why do I have a feeling I'm going to regret this"

"It's probably just indigestion," he smirked before sliding in to the interrogation room.

He pulled a chair diagonally from her, invading her space purposely knowing it would irk her.

"You're not a cop are you?" She stated more then asked

He let out a soft chuckle "why would you say that?"

"You're not cop material, you think outside the box and don't follow the rules, not good qualities if you want to be a cop, they are very definite when it come to protocol and rules. Doesn't mean you're not good at what you do, even though you have no real jurisdiction they all respect your opinion very much, yes you annoy them but they respect you. The boss is the short one she's smart like you but in a different way, in a good cop way but not in a Patrick Jane way. They all very much respect her even a little intimidated by her that's how I know she's the boss."

"Impressive." He sated still smiling at her

"Not as impressive as you, you're smarter and more observant then I'll ever be, and I can't say that about a lot of people." They both chuckled.

"You're probably right, but I wouldn't cut yourself short." He teased

Her look became harder more concentrated as she examined him digesting all the little clues around her that would tell her about the enigma that was Patrick Jane.

"Very smart and charming, but you have a darker side, you very rally let that show, you let the anger seep through but never the true pain you feel, afraid to be vulnerable. Full of guilt is it? Maybe a past trauma." His smile disappeared and his features went hard she saw this and immediately withdrew.

"I'm sorry…I didn't mean to offend you I…I sometimes get carried away." She shook her head upset with her own foolishness.

His cool air returned. He held up his hand divisively, "I do it all the time, I guess it was about time I got a taste of my own medicine, now it's my turn to read you," He said eagerly like a kid with a new toy. She eyed him skeptically then looked at him challenging, she held up her hand to signal for him to continue.

"You are also very smart and intuitive, people trust you and you hate that for fear of failing them, you are also afraid of trusting others, you enjoy literature I'm guessing mysteries and Shakespeare because you enjoy irony. Your hurt too, you feel a deep guilt and self loathing, pain beyond your years." She stared at him her features stoic; her walls had been put up.

"What hurt you?" Patrick asked tilting his head curiously.

"There's no reason in me telling you, you ether know already or will just read my file later," her voice stern and disconnected, it was amazing how distant she had trained herself to be.

"Yes but I'd rather hear it from you."

"Why should I open up to you if you won't open up to me?" She asked casually as if she were talking about weather, retaining her composure she feared she almost lost. It shocked the consultant how fast she could change from smart ass, to border line intimidating to light hearted to apologetic to playful to distant to playful again. The walls she built were thick and her mask hard and practiced

"Aren't I the one who's supposed to ask the questions," When he received no response from her he sighed, _she's going to be harder than I thought. _

"My wife and child were murdered by a serial killer named Red John because I was selfish and stupid and slandered him on television." When he told people his story he normally got fake sympathies or pity, never had he gotten as an emotional response as he got from Lilly.

"I'm so, so sorry." Honesty laced in every word, her eyes brimmed with not pity but honest empathy a true understanding of his pain and torment.

He merely nodded, taken aback from her response. After a long heavy silence clung in the room she confessed.

"I need your help."

"Well you resisted arrest for sleeping in a public area, and your assault charge is off of you flicking a police officer," He couldn't help but laugh at the last one "considering you just solved a murder case I think it's safe to say the charges will be lifted."

"That's not what I mean…I need help with a murder investigation of my own…and I think you can help me."

I would love to hear what you think.


	3. Chapter 3

Thank you so so much for the feedback it really brightened my day and encouraged me to continue writing. Next chapter will reveal more information and will help clear up some confusion, so hang in there and let me know what you think thanks again

Read,Enjoy,Review

"You stay here," Jane said directing Lilly to his favorite brown leather couch. She looked skinny and gauntly sitting in the massive room, as an afterthought the consultant added

"Can I get you something to eat, maybe some tea?" He offered kindly

"I'm fine, just go work your magic."

"Jane, what is she still doing here, I thought Lisbon told you to let her go." Cho asked looking up from his desk.

"Ya, I'm not quite done with her yet."

"Lisbon isn't going to be happy with this." He stated in his usual monotone.

"Wow, I'm sure you're a kick at dinner parties," Lilly said grinning to herself. She was quite intrigued by the dynamic of the group_. Agent Cho matter of fact, blunt doesn't bother himself with social niceties which also keeps him honest. _She analyzed to herself.

With that Jane headed off for battle, his opponent, Lisbon.

"So…where's your parents, aren't you supposed to be home or something?" agent Rigsby asked from his desk, trying to make conversation.

"Aren't you supposed to watch your cholesterol?" She retorted right before he was going in to take a giant bite of hamburger. He stopped burger in mid air, looking somewhat offended and embarrassed.

"I'm kidding; you look like you do enough physical activity to make up for your poor diet."

Cho snickered at that, Lilly smiled satisfied she got a response out of the stoic man.

"How do you know I have a poor diet?"

"Easy, when you opened your wallet it was filled with ones, you don't seem like the stripper type so I assume you use the vending machine frequently, also you have an old grease stain on your shirt, I also factor in the demand of your job and how fast food would be a better convenience for a single man such as yourself."

"Amazing, she's like a mini Jane." He said shocked.

"Great just what we need." Cho stated not raising his head from his paper work.

The pretty red head interjected now, "Should I call your family for you?"

"Ah no, I don't live with my family." Her eyes still danced with amusement, the room went uncomfortably silent, until Rigsby couldn't stand the question they all wanted to know.

"What…what happened?"

"I got tired of them so I shipped them off to China," The agent's eyes grew wide with disbelief and to answer the unspoken question on his lips Cho piped up

"She's kidding Wayne."

"I knew that." He defended

"Thank you any way though, It was nice of you to offer, I suppose you're not just beautiful but kind as well, now I understand why the agent over there can't keep his eyes off of you." Lilly directed her attention towards the woman. Grace blushed a deep red and Rigsby practically chocked on his burger.

"All I'm asking is for the file"

"Jane, I can't get involved in one of your crazy schemes again, the last case you asked me to take almost got me in a lot of trouble." Lisbon argued

"I solved the case though didn't I?"

"I can't do it, I don't have control over that case."

"You can't or you won't?"

"Look, Jane, I have put my butt on the line for you more times than I would have licked, why do you feel the need to make my life even harder? What's the connection between this girl and you, and more importantly why the hell does she want the file in the first place." Lisbon tried to keep herself from exploding crazy stressed Lisbon juice all over the consultant.

"I don't know, but I do know when I looked in her eyes, I saw something…something that's haunting her…I know because we share that pain…I don't know how…but if you give me the time I can find out, I also know that she needs our help." His lightning blue orbs pierced into her green holding her hostage. The look sent a chill down her back.

"Ok…I'll talk to Hightower and see if I can find out who has the file and go from there…but I swear Jane if this goes bad I'll shoot you this time."

"Ok." He smiled his cocky 'I won' smile and turned on his heals to walk out.

"Oh and the girl, she's your responsibility." And with that the senior agent slammed her door on the consultant.

_What have I just done?_ Lisbon shook her head and popped an Advil.

"You sure you have a way of getting home?" Jane asked everyone had left now even Lisbon.

"Ya." She lied easily. He looked at her hard for a moment, she was harder to read than most people, they were all books to him ready to be opened and read, but Lilly, she was more like a diary, you have to look around for the key first and you can't always find it.

He nodded his head despite his suspicion she was lying, he knew she was testing him and he wanted her to know he wouldn't pry beyond necessary.

"Oh and…uh, thank you." She said genuinely.

"You do realize you're going to have to tell me what's going on eventually if I'm going to help you."

"I know" She smiled and walked out of the bull pen. The weary consultant stretched out on his couch and prepared for another night's sleep, hopefully a dreamless one.

Little did he know that Lilly secretly snuck off to the bathroom to hide until he fell asleep, and would later that night camp out in the bull pen, and wouldn't be as lucky as him and have a dreamless sleep, he didn't know all of this as he lay down on his couch and fell into a light slumber…but he would find out soon.


	4. Chapter 4

So here's chapter four, thank you so much to MissNitaGirl the only one who's currently reading my story lol. This chapters for you I hope you enjoy it, let me know what you think Also expect the most intense chapter so far next (Chapter5) It should be done by tomorrow

Read,Enjoy,Review

A soft muffling noise filtered through the sleepy consultant's ears. At first he tried to ignore it, it wasn't every night that he actually got quality sleep so the idea of waking from it so soon was not the most appealing to him. As the sound grew somewhat in volume he realized his attempt to continue his slumber was futile, he sat up and rubbed at his face lazily

"Damn" He whispered into the dark.

The sound was coming from the other side of the bullpen. _Great another intruder just what I need, why is it that the bad guys always decide to show up when I'm alone without a cowboy cop with a gun? _He thought bitterly to himself. He wasn't a big fan of the way police officers waved around their guns, he didn't like the idea of guns in general but he had to admit they did come in handy once in a while, especially in this job.

The mumbling grew as he stealthily walked across the dark bullpen only the dimmest of light filtering through from the street lamp below kept him from running into Cho's desk. He grabbed a letter opener from the desk and held it in front of him as a weapon, from experience being held hostage by one he knew they made pretty good improvised weapons. The mumbling grew louder as he approached Rigsby's desk, he could feel his heart hammering in his chest and his breath catch in his throat; afraid to make the slightest sound. He walked around the desk holding the small weapon high in front of him to the source of the noise.

He jumped when he saw the silhouette of someone on the ground he jumped back then slowly approached the figure again, squinting his eyes, in even in the soft light it was extremely hard to make out anything. The mystery visitor rolled over now exposing her pale ivory skin in the filtered light her hair a dark tumble weed consuming the rest of her face.

"Lilly…" He whispered, but she did not wake her breathing escalated even more as she fought of invisible demons in her sleep.

"No…no….please please stop…get away…NO!" She screeched and pleaded as she convulsed violently. The sight was disturbing he knew she was stuck in her own personal Hell and he struggled to bring her back.

"Lilly…Lilly," He cooed, he approached her closely, It was strange seeing someone who appears to be so strong look so fragile, she looked thin and pale fighting off something she couldn't win, he feared if he touched her she'd shatter like a porcelain doll.

She sat up rigid, eyes flew open, but still glazed and far away, she quickly scooted away from Patrick shaking her head feverishly

"Stay…stay away from me…" Her haunted look and glazed eyes cleared when she ran into the wall, fully waking her up and clearing the haze between the past and present. Lilly blinked a few times finding her bearings, when she realized she wasn't alone, and by the look on his face he had seen the whole thing.

_Damn…he must think I'm so weak and pathetic, I need to have better control._

She angrily wiped at the rouge tears that managed to slide from her in her nightmare, she refused to look at him shame written all over her face. When he was sure enough time for her to collect herself had passed, he broke the silence.

"Are…you ok?" He inquired skillfully hiding his worry.

She tried to laugh genuinely and smiled a fake smile that never reached her eyes,

"I'm fine besides the fact I'm not a very good guest to sleep over…sorry I woke you"

He waved his hand dismissively not moving his eyes from her tear streaked face.

"I guess I just…got a bit of a fright…must have been something I ate…"

"Really? I'm offended, you really think Id fall for such a poorly constructed lie like that, I know you're going to deflect until you absolutely have no other choice but to tell me the truth…and I think you owe me a bit of clarification."

She sat there staring at the floor trying with all her might to stifle the shivering that was threatening to take over her body. Patrick took of his suit jacket and put it over her shoulders knowing she'd be too proud to ask for it herself.

"Earlier you asked me if I wanted some tea…well, the truth is I've never actually had a cup of tea before." She still looked at the floor as if she found it terribly intriguing.

"Really?" His eyes grew big with disbelief

"Ya, but It must be good considering you drink the stuff like a fish."

Normally he would have gotten up and made her some but something told him she didn't want to be left alone, so he offered a hand to help her up. She flinched away quickly as if he was a poisonous spider.

"Sorry…" She mumbled mentally chastising herself for being so openly jumpy. She put out her hand as a sign to him that it was ok to help her up, and they headed off to the small make shift kitchen. They winced as he turned on the bright offensive light.

He put a pot of water on the stove to boil and got out two cups, his robins egg blue one and a navy blue coffee cup for Lilly. He leaned against the counter as she sat at a table staring off into space lost in their own thoughts. The whistle of the kettle stirred them from their own worlds and back to reality, Patrick fixed the tea and headed over to the table, he set the mug in front of the young girl and sat down with his own cup.

"Careful…It's hot"

"Thank you."

He stared across the table at her expectantly as she took her first sip. The aroma of the strong tea leafs filled her senses and the hot burn of the liquid as it slid down her throat was heavenly and soothing, It had a peculiar flavor to her but not a bad one. She nodded her head in approval, his grinned satisfied with himself.

"So…what brings you to the CBI at this hour…I mean last time I checked the floor isn't the most comfortable sleeping arrangement." His question was only meet by silence, one minute she wouldn't shut up and the next you couldn't get a word out of her, It was starting to, as he would say, irk him.

"Listen if I'm going to help you, you can't just leave me in the dark, why weren't you sleeping at your house?" He asked firmly.

"I don't have one." She stated frankly. He sipped his tea and nodded thoughtfully.

"And no I didn't run away."

"Mom? Dad? Siblings?...how about them?"

She gulped hard then answered " As far as I'm concerned I had no dad…I'm not naive I know I had a biological father…but not a dad." After a short silence she built up the courage to continue again.

"I had a sister and a mother…I failed them and know their gone."

"What happened?"

She let out a humorless laugh "Why should I tell you…you'll find out soon enough if you get the case file for me anyway."

"Because you can trust me."

"Can I?" She now looked him in eye, both sharing the same intensity.

She adverted her eyes once more.

"Do you still have…nightmares?"

He pondered it for a moment he didn't like reveling that kind of information but he needed to convince her she could trust him.

"Yes."

She nodded thoughtfully.

"Obviously you do too."He stated coolly, he knew better then to use his mind tricks on her, his charming smile, the warm touch of his hand, she most likely would get offended or just laugh at him.

"You want to convince me I can trust you?...alright then lets test this, I have a proposition for you."


	5. Chapter 5

Thank you so much MissNitaGirl for your wonderful feedback and also now Anna as well, I have come to the conclusion if my story is really as good as you say maybe people aren't reading because the summary doesn't sound interesting enough. In other words it needs a better hook something intriguing and different. If you had any ideas on how I could improve it, I would greatly appreciate it. Thank you again you've been so good to me through this story and I'm sorry about the late update.

I hope you enjoy

"Check this out," Rigsby whispered to Van pelt in the corner of the bull pen, he gestured towards Jane and Lilly sitting on opposite sides of the couch staring off into space drinking tea.

"Isn't that something, there like twins," He giggled too himself amused.

She smiled looking upon the scene, "Ya she's a little different though, observant and annoyingly smart but not brain reader like Jane…or I hope not at least."

They blushed remembering her comment of him gaping at her the other day; they didn't want anyone to know the feelings they had for each other, which they denied to themselves, existed. Textbook case of denial.

He quickly filled the awkward silence, "He has taken an interest to her case though, do we even know what it is yet?"

"No…but its sweet." She commented smiling to herself.

_God she's sensitive and beautiful,_ he openly gawked at the red head.

"Um…Rigsby?" she asked uncomfortably noticing his dreamy stare.

"What…um nothing…just…nothing," he stammered.

"Yes, well we better get back to work."

"Yes. Work it is what we do here…in the office…work." They quickly walked away from each other to their desks. _Way to play it cool man. _

Jane was deep in thought, last night before Lilly got an opportunity to reveal her proposition they had been interrupted by the janitor, then the night guard came in to see who was talking, then the workaholic agents started pouring in. His curiosity was killing him, but he knew better than to push the subject she would have to tell him herself when she was ready.

Her thoughts as well were wrapped around last night, she was determined to swallow her pride and just ask him what she had meant to last night. _Damn janitorial serves, this place doesn't even look clean_ she pouted to herself.

"Jane" The mighty Miss. Lisbon called stirring the consultant from his thoughts.

"Yes?" He replied giving her his full watt smile, the one that could stop any girl in her tracks.

"My office," She commanded and flashed a small smile at Lilly before turning on her heels and walking out.

As soon as the both of them were out of sight Lilly turned to the rest of the busy agents and louder than necessary, asked

"So, have those two shagged yet?"

"The murder file you want is currently in the possession of the local Sacramento police." Lisbon said after Jane had closed her door, his face lit up excitedly.

"Great, we go over there you flash your badge and we have jurisdiction over the case, it's in California."

"It doesn't just work that way Jane, Hightower said sense it an old case, that we have no business handling by the way they have to give it to us voluntarily, only then will she even consider letting us take it."

"That's not fair, we're not even working on a case right now…"

"Jane I went out on limb enough to get this information for you, it will be a PR disaster investigating this case after two years of a cold trail, how do we explain our sudden interest?" Lisbon could feel another Jane induced headache coming on.

"Lisbon we can't not take the case over something as trivial as PR, what about justice, do you have any idea what that girls been through?" He challenged mortified by the stupidity of it all.

"That's just it Jane, you have managed to provide me with little to no information on this thing, like I don't know why the hell she wants it in the first place. It was a low profile case, Mother and daughter murdered while her other daughter was forced to watch, horrible but of little interest to the public, that's all I know." She exclaimed in frustration.

The blonde man's features went rigid at the mortifying news, he now knew why she wanted the case, he knew exactly why, the same reason he wanted Red John. Vengeance. He was absolutely disgusted that someone could do something so vile, and that wasn't even the beginning of it. He had much more to learn of the horrifying tragedy that took place that night, the events that now haunted the girl's nightmares and destroyed her waking world.

"Jane, are you ok?" She had seen him troubled over cases or disgusted like the rest of them but never had he shown that dramatic of a reaction.

"Ah fine…just fine."

She put her fingers to the bridge of her noise, and sighed inwardly, "look if you wanted to go down there and ask for it yourself I wouldn't object, but they have to give it to you willingly and it will be considered your lunch break."

He smiled his showman's smile, the one that never quite reached his eyes but no one ever noticed.

"Oh and Jane…don't screw this up," She warned less intimidating then she would have hoped. He couldn't help but give the women a real smile at that one, _classic Lisbon. _

After he stepped through the door she found herself missing his presence, it was amazing the life Patrick Jane brought to a room. She quickly shook the thought from her head. _The things I do for that man. _

Lisbon decided to follow him out.

"Ready for a road trip" He asked the young girl, as he approached his old brown leather friend.

"Neat-o," She grabbed her jacket from over the couch and stood up.

"Neat-o? Jeez kid what time period are you from, Shagg? Net-o?" Cho deadpanned

"Shagg," Jane turned confused to Lilly "When did you say Shagg?"

"Uh…" It's that instant she was saved by the senior agent trailing in after Patrick.

"I'm serious Jane I don't want you antagonizing anyone, or getting yourself punched."

"Lisbon, it's cute you have concern for my well being, but I promise you I'll be fine" He smiled amused to himself.

"I'm not concerned for you…it's just…a lot of paperwork to fill out and it creates a bad reputation for the unit." She fumbled for her words as her cheeks filled with blood, creating a slight blush to her completion.

"The fact that you deny that you care about my well being intrigues me."

Her cheeks turned an even darker red as she fought for her composure. Lilly broke out laughing, causing the both of them to stare at her with intrigue and confusion.

"Seriously…you don't see this," She asked holding back laughter pointing to the two, when all she received was blank stares she stifled her laughter and headed off to the elevators.

The drive up was mostly filled with silence; a comfortable silence though, they both knew there was no need for useless small talk about trivial things such as the weather, if they had something important to say they would.

When they finally came within a few blocks of the department Patrick parked and they got out of the small blue car and walked down to the large building looming in the distance, to Lilly it was like some ominous force.

"You nervous," the consultant asked feeding of her energy.

"Me, no, maybe you're just projecting." She defended, although in reality her stomach was doing back flips like an acrobat in the circus.

"Trust me, they'll hand it to us."

The problem was she still didn't know if she could trust him. She figured she better figure it out soon if she planned to share information with him later that day she'd never shared with another human being. She also wished more than anything that he was right about them getting the file. The problem was she knew wishes never came true…at least not for her anyway.

Another cliffy I know I'm evil mwhahahah


	6. Chapter 6

Thank you for the great Ideas for the summary MissNitaGirl, and the wonderful review from you and Anne. It's nice to know at least someone's reading and enjoying my story. Thanks for the love girls and I hope to hear from you guys again soon. Like always enjoy

After a few excruciating minutes of flashing badges and debate, Patrick and Lily were directed to Officer Mark Harris, head of the murder investigation of the mother and daughter that Lily had an interest in.

"What can I do for you Mr. Jane and your little friend here?" The officer asked leaning back in his chair as if it was his thrown, he had a proud smirk on his face that made Lily's skin crawl, she also hated when people treated her like a child, she was above their condescending behavior. Jane knew this would drive her crazy so he couldn't help the small laugh that escaped his lips.

"Actually we have a strictly professional relationship, I'm not his little friend, my names Lily Cartridge, and it's a pleasure to meet you." She said pointedly without a tremor of hesitation in her voice, extending her hand for a firm hand shake. It through the officer off for a moment, he had never seen some one of her age so professional and mature.

"Nice to meet you young lady as well, I was informed you said something about a file?" He said clearly not taking either one of them seriously.

"Yes, I'm a consultant with the CBI…" Harris's amused expression quickly turned into a grimace at the mention of the CBI and quickly interrupted,

"I see you guys have decided to take another one of _our_ cases over."

"Um, actually no. We came to ask your permission to have the case." The officers eyes danced knowing he was in power over them he pulled himself up to full height to make himself seem intimidating.

"You bratty little agents at the CBI…" he began before being interrupted by Jane

"Actually I'm a bratty little consultant, not agent." He corrected in his usual t smart ass air.

"All of you from the CBI come in here demanding authority over _my_ cases _my _investigations, you think I'm going to hand this case over to you because you asked?"

"Well you don't even know what file we want, it's the Mother and daughter murders from two years ago, and apparently considering you haven't solved it yet you're not having the best of luck with the case." Lily flinched at the word murder.

"I'll be damned if you get your grubby paws on that file."

"I can assure you that won't happen." The officer looked at him slightly shocked he had given up already until the consultant continued, "I don't have any paws." He smiled broadly amused with himself like a young child who made a picture for their parents.

The officer glared at him, "I don't like being made a fool by punks like you who think you know it all, that case is a dead end anyway," He chuckled to himself, "I guess you could say it's a dead end as dead as the two of them." His laugh escalated into a cackle now, he got a perverted joy by his new found power. Lily could feel herself become sick with rage as red anger clouded her vision.

"You listen to me, I will not rest until I get this case, I will go above your head and get you fired from your job if I have to, maybe even give your pretty wife a call and let her know you're having an affair, I will do whatever it takes, I failed some very important people to me before and I will NOT, fail them again."

Her stair was unwavering, the officer looked on in shock his jaw hanging loosely open as if it would fall off. Even Jane was a little surprised he already could tell she had the potential to be that way but he never expected for her to lose such control, it faintly reminded him of himself during a Red John case.

"How dare you threaten me in my own station," He stammered still in shock

She leaned in close enough that he could hear her breathing faintly in his ear, "It's not a threat Mr. Harris, It's a promise." Her voice was steely and detached, her words like ghosts slipping faintly from her steady lips and lingering in the room causing a deep shiver to envelop her audience.

He looked from side to side as if checking for spy's in his office and asked, "How did you know I was having a, you know"

"It was fairly obvious, Mr. Harris." Jane chimed in releasing the tension between the two. He gently reached for her shoulder to pull her away but she only flinched like she had the night before, barely noticeable to the untrained eye, but Jane's eyes were far from untrained.

"Ok fine…you can have it, you're not going to solve it though, we've had it for two years and haven't gotten even the slightest lead."

"That's astonishing considering how capable you seem." She remarked sarcastically under her breath.

"Thank you, oh and just a helpful tip swallowing your pride will defiantly help improve your marriage…and the not sleeping around thing may help to." Patrick suggested mater of factly before leaving the small office his friend, or as she had called it "business partner" following close behind.

They left the building victorious, file in hand and an official transfer of power over the case would be conducted with the CBI if allowed by Hightower.

"I wouldn't necessarily call what you did back there cordial but hay at least we got the file." Patrick said cheerfully as they walked down the sidewalk.

"Oh please, you have no right to chastise me for that, you would have done the same thing." She countered playfully.

She felt as if a weight had been lifted from her shoulders, and she could breathe a little easier. She was so close she could taste it, if the CBI was on her side she might actually have a chance of solving this thing. It was strange to have the thing you desire most so close to your grasp, like a hoarse with a carrot dangling in front of its face. For the same reason she knew to be skeptical. It was a strong possibility that the carrot would be ripped from her sight as easily as it was placed there, so close it was almost tangible but not close enough to actually have it. In simpler terms it was torture. A daunting reality she lived with every waking day and every torturous night.

"Hello…Lily, you ok." The consultant eyed her clinically. She could see his eyes constantly tearing apart at every little detail pulling apart strings revealing truth, he did it with every aspect of the world around him, yet he was blind to the truth of himself. It was rather interesting to her.

"Fine." She smiled pleasantly. She stopped abruptly on the cracked side walk, she could feel the warm light of the sun kiss her pale cheeks, she picked up a five dollar bill that lay rejected on the ground. Jane had walked a little further ahead before he realized she had stopped.

"What's that?" He asked walking back to her

She responded to his question with her own, "You see anyone drop this," She asked holding up the bill. He shook his head.

"Nope, it's yours now."

She didn't have any money and could use a few things, she only had one pair of pants and a few t-shirts in her backpack back at the CBI, but she abruptly changed her mind as her eyes settled on something across the street. She knew exactly what she wanted to do next, and it wasn't buying something for herself, no she had something much different in mind, something that was going to be a lot more interesting.

So what do you think, I know it's not the most interesting chapter. I'm contemplating weather or not do reveal a lot more information next chapter about Lily's past or add some more drama first, let me know what you think.


	7. Chapter 7

I promise information, drama, betrayal, secrets, and lies are all coming soon this chapter sets it up, I wanted to develop the characters personalities and relationships (Lily/Jane friendship Jisbon and Rigspelt) a little more. I hope you enjoy this chapter and let me know what you think.

Thanks again to everyone reading

"Oh god, what are you thinking?" Jane asked wearily yet amused

"What?" She smirked guiltily as if she were caught with her hand in the cookie jar.

"You have that evil 'I'm up to something' look on your face."

She ignored him walking across the street to a small flower vendor, it was a small stand placed outside of a convenience store, In front of the small desk was placed a plethora of flowers of all kinds and colors. They stood tall in there clear paper and black buckets begging to be bought, the young man running the stand was about the age of Lily. He had sandy blond hair and intelligent emerald eyes a kind smile adorned his boyish face.

"You're quite the young entrepreneur," Jane commented as he approached the flower stand next to Lily. A sea of blooming colors lay at their feet, such beauty for a little corner.

"I'm working for my father sir," He explained politely then turned his attention more eagerly to the young lady that accompanied him, who was now biting her lip in concentration as she scrutinized the assortment of flowers. The young man swiftly pulled the most vibrant and beautiful bouquet of lilies from the stand and held them out for the girl.

"I think these would suit you the best," He beamed at her, she merely smiled at the irony of him offering her lilies, but that was the extent of her smile, no trace of blush or flirtation at all. Jane was slightly shocked that she was completely oblivious to his flirting or didn't care enough to engage in the charade back.

"Those are lovely but I'm actually looking for…orchids I think," The boys smile faltered slightly at this response, she looked back at the consultant, "agent Van pelt's favorite flowers are orchids right?"

"Um…ya that seems right." He confirmed slightly confused he didn't know that the two had bonded to the point that she would get the agent flowers, but then again he was learning that the teenager probably had something more conniving up her sleeve. She smiled satisfied and as an afterthought added,

"And Miss. Lisbon's favorite flower?" She inquired receiving an answer more quickly this time.

"Carnations," He smiled softly at the thought.

"Interesting," she was both intrigued with the way he answered it, and the answer itself she didn't really picture her a carnation person, but she had a feeling that out of anyone he would be the one to know.

"You should pick her out some, it'd make her day"

"Nah she would just get flustered that I got her a 'romantic' gift at work and how its unprofessional for an employee to give."

"Unprofessional, really…when has that ever stopped you?" She asked raising an eyebrow.

"Do you seal fresh fruit here," the consultant asked the still gawking young man.

"Yes sir Just got in a new shipment today. Fresh and sweet," He gave the older gentlemen a toothy grin.

"Thank you…" He asked pausing waiting for the boy to fill in the blank

"Sam…my names Sam."

Jane smiled, and then started walking into the small store motioning for Lily to stay put, she scowled at him but complied.

"Uh what's your name?" Sam asked a ting of nerves laced into his words.

"Lily." She replied politely but indifferent.

His grin broadened, "Well Lily, you live around here?"

"Oh...not exactly…maybe soon." She mumbled not really knowing how to answer the question.

"Well I got to show you around sometime then, there's this great sandwich shop down the street, they have a Rubin that's to die for," He rambled eagerly, his vibrant green orbs dancing from side to side.

Jane stepped out of the store at that moment a small green carton of fresh strawberries in hand, no doubt for a certain senior agent.

"She'd love to" Jane began much to Lily's dislike.

"I would, but I can't, thank you though…how much for the flowers?" She made a mental note to slap Jane latter.

"I understand…their on me." The sparkle in his eye dimed and his grin drooped slightly like one of his flowers in the heat.

"Really?" She asked surprised.

"Ya, you certainly spread your fair share of beauty to the world, I thought I might try to do the same for you" He smiled kindly, it was corny but sweet, original not some black and white film cliché, plus there was a certain honesty to his voice that was endearing.

"Thank you." With the orchids in hand she turned on her heals to cross the street. Jane gave the rookie a reassuring pat on the back, and hurriedly set off after Lily.

They passed by a small playground filled with laughing playing children all but one. A little girl with straight black hair and sapphire eyes cried alone on a bench.

"I'll be right back," Lily said heading towards the weeping child, Jane reluctantly followed.

Lily crouched down in front of the little girl who was probably no older than 6.

"Hay, what's wrong?"

The young child looked at her skeptically for a second, "I'm not allowed to talk to strangers."

"Well that's a very god rule but I can assure you we're not that strange, well maybe a little." Lily made a funny face as if demonstrating her level of strangeness, she was rewarded with a symphony of giggles pouring from the little girl.

"So will you please tell me what's wrong?" The girl thought about it for a moment.

"I don't have any friends, the other kids won't play with me cuz they said I'm weird." The girl spoke with a slight lisp, making it apparent now why the others had rejected her. _Kids can be so cruel,_ Lily thought disgusted to herself.

"You're not weird, you different" Jane watched Lily interact with the child with intrigue, he had know what was wrong with the little girl before she had said anything, but he wanted to watch Lily work so he kept his mouth shut.

"I don't want to be different." She pouted.

"You see these Orchids, there pretty aren't they?" The girl replied to the question with a small nod.

"This color, red and yellow, is rare for Orchids, meaning there different but still beautiful, all the best things are." Lily pulled one of the flowers carefully from the bunch and handed it to the little girl. Her face lit up as if she were receiving a present on Christmas morning.

"And you know what, I'm your friend, I'm Lilly."

"I'm Sophie," The girl responded excitedly. Lily's face faltered slightly luckily Sophie didn't notice, but like always Jane did.

"That's a beautiful name, have a great day Sophie" She gave the girl the best smile she could muster and before she could get up Sophie wrapped her small arms around her, Lily closed her eyes and gently hugged her back.

Jane admired the gift she had with younger children she remembered her mention she had a younger sister. He wished that his own daughter could have meet Lily, they would have gotten along well, but he quickly waved away the painful thought. Wishes never came true.

Jane waited until they were in the car to ask the many questions he had for her.

"So…that boy was nice."

Lily merely shrugged her shoulders indifferently.

"Why didn't you take him up on his offer, it was innocent, he really liked you."

"I didn't want to like him."

"Afraid of commitment are we, well your yong there's always later," He teased. She let out a small cynical chuckle.

"What, you don't ever plan to have a relationship; I thought girls your age were all into guys and what not." In reality he didn't really know what girls her age were into, his daughter was young when she was killed, that very thought tortured him nightly, never getting to watch her graduate, walk her down the aisle. He refocused trying to bury his impossible longings.

"I don't want to love anyone…If you're lucky you stop loving the people you love before they leave you or die." She stated matter of factly. She could go from bubbly to dark in seconds, it made Jane wonder if the bubbly was more of a phacade. Her ideology was very sad to him, what a concept for a 14year old girl to live by.

"Wow, you should write greeting cards," She couldn't help but grin at that.

"Oh and like your one to talk, have you and Lisbon even admitted that you like each other yet?'

The question caught him of guard.

"Uh…we don't." 

"Right that's why you're flustered." She raised her eyebrows scrutinizing his denial.

"So what's up with the flowers for Van Pelt," He quickly changed the subject and was grateful when she let it slide.

"You'll see." She stated mischievously.

"It was nice what you did for Sophie back there." He put extra emphasis on the name to see her reaction.

"Don't beat around the bush I know you want to know what significance the name has to me…but it doesn't.

"Again you underestimate me, I know your lying."

A thick silence clung in the air, before Lily finally broke it.

"My sister…my sisters name was Sophie." She looked out the window signifying the end of their conversation…or so Jane thought. She was about to revel much more.

Next on _Double trouble_:

Lily: I need to remember in detail

Jane: you want me to help you relive that night?

Little did she know it was only the start of an even bigger betrayal

I hope you enjoyed the little preview for the next chapter


	8. Chapter 8

Alright I know I'm awful and didn't update when expected but I've been extremely busy and I apologies completely. I'm already working on the next chapter so it will be released sooner than this one. Thank you so much for the wonderful support I'm absolutely ecstatic that I've gotten an increase in readers. Hopefully this chapter will make up for the delay. I'm really nervous I didn't get the emotion rite please let me know what you think.

.Review Thank you all

Lily and Jane had arrived back at the CBI and were on their way to Lisbon's office with the news of their victory.

"Wait, this is the perfect time, there she is." Lily said eagerly referring to rookie agent, Grace Van pelt. She sat erect staring at the illuminated computer screen, her fiery long locks lay neatly at her shoulders. Lily walked into the bull pen looking around to make sure Rigsby wasn't close by.

"Hay Miss. Van Pelt, agent Rigsby wanted me to give these to you," She said innocently. Grace blushed a deep red, and looked around nervously.

"What…why?" She took them in her trembling hands. _Their beautiful_ she couldn't help but admire the fragrant gift.

"I don't know, he said something about noticing you were having a bad day yesterday, or something like that."

"How'd he…never mind…uh thanks." Her heart skipped a beat at the thought of him picking out the wonderful token to cheer her up. Lily's smile stretched across from cheek to cheek.

She walked casually back to Jane, he greeted her back shaking his head an amused chuckle playing in his throat.

"It's not going to work, I've already tried."

"Yes see that's the problem never send a man to do a women's work." Her full hearted smile accentuated the hollowness of her thin face.

"Lisbon can wait, why don't we find something to eat." He suggested already walking to the kitchenette, she grudgingly fallowed.

She sat down at the small table watching him rummage through cabinets and the fridge determinedly. He finally found what he was looking for; bread and cheep lunch meat. He pulled out the ingredients victoriously.

"Want one; I'm known to make the best sandwiches you know."

"Wonder bread and baloney, no thanks." She said disgustedly, in turn deflating his cocky grin.

"Well you have to eat something before you disappear completely."

"Eh, I'm not that hungry."

"Come on, humor me." He asked giving her the full Patrick Jane charm.

"Fine." She gave it some thought, as she reached her decision her eyes became glassy as they swam with visions of her past, she was far away lot in a memory the tiniest of smiles graced her pink lips, a picture torn between pain and happiness.

"Lilly," Patrick gently stirred her from the vision and pulled her from the dangerous waters of day dreaming. The further lost people like them got in their past the further lost they were from the world.

"Ya…do we have an apple." Her walls shut down firmly around her. He gave her a curious look before grabbing one from the fruit bowl and tossing it to her.

"And a knife?" His puzzled look deepened as her retrieved a knife from the silverware drawer and handed it to her.

"Thanks," She cut the dull knife into the crisp fruit as best she could, cutting it in half, she discarded the other half of it on the opposite side of the table clearly not wanting to consume it. She starred hard at the deep red skin and yellowish tent of the meat on the inside of the succulent beauty. Slowly and hesitantly she sunk her teeth into the side avoiding the seeds in a practiced ritual.

"May I have the other half?" He asked with interest. She seemed to ponder it for a brief second.

"No," She shook her head adamantly, with all the seriousness in the world.

"Well are you going to eat it?"

"No"

"Seriously…um…ok." He shook his head, she was defiantly different. She eyed the fruit intently her face turning a shade paler as if she was going to be sick, and she slammed down the half, pushing it away as if it had fangs that threaten to bite her.

_-Flashback- _

_(__**A/N**__ misspellings are on purpose when Sophie talks because I'm trying to use child slang)_

"_Sissy, I'm hungry." Little Sophie said tugging on the end of her sisters shirt. _

"_Your hungry, well how about I get you a cow," The young girl's eyes grew wide with horror. _

"_I could never eat a cow! Plus I'm not that hungry." _

"_Well I see, that would be a problem," she scratched her chin in fake contemplation much to Sophie's entertainment, "How about a…bread crumb!" _

"_Oh no, I'm much too hungry for that" Lily turned to the counter and bent down handing a shiny red apple in to tiny hands. Sophie stared at it with wonder. Apples were the girls favorite treats. _

"_Oh sissy this is perfect, I love apples!" She exclaimed doing a small dance around the kitchen, Lilly laughed at her sister's cheer. _

"_Wont you have one with me," Her wide electric blue eyes demanding joy from the world and love from your soul, giving so much of it back as well. _

"_I would love to, but that's the last one sophe," The little girls face fell into a look of determination. _

"_We have to solve this then…you can take half of mine," She held it out as if it was a precious gift. _

"_I couldn't take half of __**your**__ apple soph," _

"_Well sure you can its simple, and pecause you're a grown up you can use a knife, and besides you're supposed to share things wit da people you care about, like… like a mommy or a daddy or your older sister." She may have been young and had trouble pronouncing her words but she was still the smartest and kindest person Lily knew. _

_Lily gave her a bright smile and set the apple on the counter to be cut in half, when she returned into Sophie's level of vision she held to half's of the shiny red fruit. The young girl eagerly grabbed a half and danced around once more this time Lily joining into. _

"_Promise me you will never eat a whole apple by yourself again." _

"_I promise." _

_-End Flashback- _

"Lily?" The voice sounded distant to her as she was caught in the sticky web of her memories.

"I promise" She responded quietly under her breath.

"What?" She only now became aware of two sets of worried eyes on her, one set of brilliant blues and the other a deep green.

Lily leaned over and slapped the consultant on the arm, earning a confused look from them both.

"I promised myself I'd do that for the little stunt you pulled with that Sam kid."

"You remembered his name" He raised his eyebrows with implication.

"I have a good memory…speaking of which did you enjoy the fresh strawberries that Mr. Jane selected for you." She had her devious grin in place.

_What's this kid trying to do, become the CBI matchmaker,_ Jane thought curiously to himself. _Lisbon doesn't like me…does she…I mean do I like…I mean I don't… _For a mentalist he was quite thick when it came to the ways of the heart, of course he had charm and he knew how to seduce a women, but when it came to the relationships that mattered he was more naive than the average Joe.

"Oh she quite enjoyed them" He flaunted his cocky air.

The agent blushed a light pink "Oh please, don't be so presumptuous."

"Don't be so presumptuous of my assumptions." They easily slipped into their banter.

"That doesn't even make sense."

"By what standard of knowledge dose it not make sense."

A tall professional looking black woman walked into the room, she had perfect posture and her hair was pulled back into a tight bun, she wore little makeup which exenterated her natural beauty. She cleared her throat loudly demanded attention over the room.

"I hate to break up this little party of yours but we have work to do, I would like all three of you in my office."

"Sorry boss." Lisbon amended quickly

"May I say you look fine today."Jane commented without a hint of apology, she pursued her lips and looked him up and down, you could tell she was used to dealing with his antics.

"Yes you may…Hello you can call me Miss Hightower." She said extending a warm hand to Lily.

"Well thank goodness they have someone to keep them in line." Hightower nodded her head laughing to herself all the way to her office.

Once they entered the room, the women's face became serious once more.

"First of all, I read the file and I'm very sorry for what happened to your family."

Lisbon processed the news with shock, "You mean the case file is…" She gaped owlishly, feeling awkward she was the only one just hearing the news. She didn't know what to say to Lily, what can you say to a girl to her age who had experienced hell. No matter how long she worked in the field she never seized to be disgusted by the actions of her fellow man.

The tall women gave a small node and continued, "I know this case means a lot to you but I need you to understand that my unit means a lot to me, this case is PR suicide and is probably a dead end considering we would be chasing a cold trail." Hightower continued before Lily could say what she had opened her mouth to say, "But justice must prevail and if anyone can solve this case, I'm convinced it will be Lisbon's team"

"Thank you." Was all she could say while containing her emotions.

"Now it's very important that I know the full account to the best of your memory, is your statement shown in this file true?"

"Yes." She told the truth.

"Is there any information that you left out?"

"No." She lied and Jane knew it.

"Thank you, were done." She smiled then turned back to her paperwork, and the three quickly left the room. Lisbon returned to her office, and Jane pulled Lily to the side.

"Why'd you lie back there?" He whispered firmly demanding and explanation.

She scanned the area before leading him by the cuff of his baby blue shirt into an empty interrogation room.

She shut the door behind them and rapidly paced the floor, ringing her wrists in as her nerves spiraled out of control. Jane observed her methodically, his head tilt and his arm bent at the elbow with his thumb and forefinger touching, he did this often when he was observing a situation.

"He…that monster, took everything from me, and out of everything he took from me I promised myself I wouldn't let him take my control," her voice was steely and hard. "I built walls, big, strong, extensive walls, I pushed everyone and everything away refusing to let anyone in. I repressed memories that threaten to surface unannounced, I refused to let them control me so I controlled them, storing them away until I wanted…needed to remember them."

"So you use them to torture yourself." He stated more than asked repressing his horror.

She let out a humorless chuckle; the darkness in the cracks of her broken self surfaced and swam in her eyes, it lurked in the shadows of her soul.

She still refused to look him in the eye as she spoke, "I guess you could say that…sometimes when I get distracted or forget my objective I need a little reminder of what my purpose is. I lay awake sometimes at night going over every detail of that night dissecting every image branded in my brain. Lately though…I don't know if it's because I'm so close to the case or…or what but it's been harder to keep control. They pop up at unwanted times, like my nightmare you saw the other night, only it was less vivid this time. When I've had nightmares before it was like I was actually in the room, but now... I'm not confident I'm getting every detail right. Any little detail I fail to remember could cost me the case." She now looked him hard in the eye, refusing to let him go with her penetrating stare, her knuckles were turning white at her sides as she curled them into fists.

"I'm close now, I have the file, I have you, I'm so close… I know…I know you have the ability to stimulate the memory through hypnosis." Her breathing hitched with anticipation.

"You're asking me… to help you relive that night" She felt weak as if her knees would buckle from underneath.

"You've done it before. Plus if you do this then consequently you'll learn what I'm keeping from you, I won't tell you unless you do this for me. Please" He could feel the desperation radiating from her frail form. After a long suffocating silence settled over the room Jane finally decided to speak up,

"Ok tomorrow night, you need to rest tonight, the process will be exhausting." She nodded weakly as the room spun around her, she felt his gentle arm wrap around her shoulders gingerly and lead her out of the interrogation room.

"Remember when you asked me if I trusted you." She asked softly barley above a whisper.

"Yes."

"I think I do." Little did she know something was about to happen that would test that and even perhaps break it completely.

Dun Dun DAAA! Sorry for the cliffy, it had to be done


	9. Chapter 9

This chapter was really hard to capture the emotion realistically, so I'm really nervous about how it turned out. I'm also very sorry for the delay this chapter turned out to be a bigger bugger than I had originally planned. Thank you so much to all of you every review was like gold to me I was absolutely honored to read your wonderful complements and a special shout out to MissNitaGirl for her amazing loyalty throughout this story. Your reviews are what is encouraging me to keep writing. So you let me know what you think and I'll keep going.

Thanks again and enjoy

Lily sat on the couch staring at her feet trying to gain control of the emotions that threatened to spill over into the visible world. Jane sat in front of her waiting for her to speak to him again. Silently judging if she was ready emotionally and physically for tomorrow, he could tell her strong façade was slowly breaking under pressure, yet she clung furiously to her mask like someone clinging to a piece of drift wood in the middle of the vast ocean, slowly drowning.

An agitated agent came striding over to the two.

"What the hell Jane!" Rgsby exclaimed through clenched teeth.

"Wasn't me this time," He held up his hands in innocence and nodded his head in Lilly's direction.

"Oh God, your just as bad as him."

"You found out about the flowers I take it" She said coolly.

"Ya I did, just now in the hall, Van Pelt wanted to thank me for the flowers _I_ got her."

"Please tell me you said they were from you"

"Yes, but only because I had no other choice, I should have just told her it was one of your guy's stupid pranks."

"No, you should have lied then asked her out." Lily said as if it was the most obvious option.

"It's against the rules."

"You always follow the rules?"

"I'm a cop it's kind of what we do, I can't go out with Van pelt she's a co-worker." Rigsby said frazzled

"What are you afraid of?"

"I think I made it clear that I'm afraid of getting sent to another unit"

"That's not it." She accused. He scoffed as if it were a ridiculous notion, then when it was obvious they weren't buying it he sighed and confessed.

"I'm not good enough for her, she deserves better."

"I think you're better for her than you give yourself credit for, as Shakespeare said, finding famine where abundance lies, thyself thy foe, to thy sweet self too cruel."

"Oh…wait, what?" The agent stared at the young girl as if she was speaking gibberish.

"It means, you're your worst critic, and also your own worst enemy, trust me she loves you, and as far as men go I think you're a pretty good choice for her." He blushed at her complement; he could be the biggest teddy bear.

"Besides it's not unprofessional you eat together every day at work, this will just be after work."

"Fine I'll try it, but if this goes bad I blame you." He said before walking off lost in his own thoughts.

Lily leaned back against the couch exhausted, the bags under her eyes were so deep you could take them camping.

"You should get some rest, I think your work here is done for the day little miss matchmaker."

"Don't you use the couch?" She asked stifling a yawn.

"I'll manage" his smile was the last thing she saw before a gentle darkness filed her vision and sleep consumed her tiered body.

Her analyzed her still form for a few moments before his curiosity took over and decided to start an investigation of his own. He looked around making sure there were no prying eyes on him then casually walked over to Lily's backpack. It was battered and slightly torn, barely holding the few positions she had. He rummaged through until he found a leather bound journal; it was worn but taken good care of. He stared at it a moment struggling between preserving her trust and his thirst for knowledge. He looked back at where she lay on the couch guiltily, if it was any other person her would have had the lock open already, but this was different, she was different.

After a few more moments he decided he couldn't let this get personal and gave in to his desire to read the forbidden contents beneath the cover. His hands trembled with anticipation as he jimmied the lock, he took a deep breath and calmed himself. A journal was where a teenager shared all their deepest thoughts and emotions, like the manuscript to who they are and what they feel.

In swirly cursive letters on the inside of the cover read _'to my flower and my sunshine with all the love in the world, your mom.'_ It was a gift from her mother that she cherished. He looked back at Lily as if she would be staring at him accusingly at any moment. He pushed away the thought and continued reading. Along the spine were jagged pieces of paper where she had pulled all the pervious pages out, as if to start anew.

On the new first page she created she wrote a poem by Edgar Allen Poe in neat handwriting;

'_Deep in earth my love is lying and I must weep alone.' _That one heart breaking line stared back at Jane daring him to continue, and despite his better judgment he did.

The next page was a piece of her own;

'My pain is a living thing it claws away inside of me. Like a beast trapped in a cage it longs to be set free. But I can never let my horrible solitary friend go.'

He feverishly turned the page as he continued to read in fascinated horror

'_To a far away island I traveled by a bridge of despair, no one dares to cross no one dares to follow to this land of horror, so alone I shiver and watch them dance enveloped by sun.' _

His hands picking up speed he flipped another page.

'_Lost in eternal slumber they lay, no longer breathing, eyes no longer seeing, minds no longer dreaming, forever sleeping suspended in the arms of the earth bathing in the darkness I envy. All I loved and all I lived for is gone. All is gone and yet nothing is ever gone. They are gone yet they still cause my shallow heart to throb, the night is bleached by the sun and yet I feel the shiver of the cold night air racking in my bones. My past has been aged by my present and yet my demons from long ago dance upon the walls of my hell. I can feel the flames of lose and despair lick at my flesh leaving behind nothing but char and ashes. I feel as dead as they that live in the graves and yet I am forced to roam amongst the living. Screams and blood haunt me at every turn seeping into the crakes of my broken vessel. One day darkness will envelop me in its ominous grasp like hands reaching from the middle of the earth and pull me down into a sea of dirt, and death will laden my lips and fill me with its sweet perfume, and whether the pits of hell swallow me or the heavens above save me or darkness consumes me, at least all will finally be gone. Gone away with all I love, the final traces of my being wiped clean from this place, and all will be gone and I can wither in peace.' _

Patrick's icy blue orbs devoured each word over and over each time gaining a new emotion from the parchment, like a snowball rolling downhill. He was so engrossed in the book that he jumped when Lisbon walked up behind him, like a child that's knows they've been caught doing something bad.

"Jane, what are you doing…are you ok?" He quickly set down the journal and composed himself, trying with all his might to detach himself from the pain that each word she wrote dripped with.

"Uh…ya…fine." She gave him her skeptical 'I don't believe you and know you're up to something' look.

"Was that a diary?"

"No… now what may I help the wonderful miss Lisbon with today?" He asked cheekily.

She shook her head not really wanting to know what he had gotten into this time, "I need to talk to you in my office." Without a reply he headed towards her office.

Lily stirred from a light sleep seconds later, she stretched her back out like an alley cat and rubbed at her sleep filled eyes. She looked around the room until her eyes rested on her discarded journal lying on the table by her backpack. The soft hum of ringing phones filled her ears as she eagerly strode over to examine the intrusion.

It was obvious that the lock was jimmied and that someone had been reading it. _It couldn't have been…no, he wouldn't…_ she didn't want to believe that Jane would invade her privacy, she was actually starting to trust him, and for her trust was a big deal.

She decided it would be best if she just go ask him herself, so she headed off to the first place she figured he would be. Lisbon's office. When she reached the door she stopped at the sound of voices, not wanting to barge in, but to curious to leave.

"I just want to make sure you can be objective in this case." Lisbon said leaning up against her desk.

"I don't see why I wouldn't be, Jeez Lisbon I'm a professional you know, consultants have feelings to," He fringed offense.

"I'm just asking, you've been spending a lot of time with Lily and I know you care a lot about her."

She was right, he had actually started caring about the young girl and that scared him. So he did the thing he did best when faced with emotions. Denied them.

"I'm just trying to gain her trust so I can get information on the case; it's just another puzzle to solve just another case to close, nothing more."

"Are…are you sure?" She said blinking in surprise

"She means nothing more to me than the next victim."

Lisbon was little taken aback by the harsh statement, then again it was Patrick Jane she was dealing with and everyone knew how good he was with dealing with emotions. The shock Lisbon felt was nothing like the betrayal Lily felt as she heard what Jane had said. Pain radiated throughout her like a lightning bolt and all she could think to do was run, little did she know the danger and pain that would come her way, all she knew in that moment is that she must weep alone.

Hope you enjoyed yet another cliffy

PS: I own all the poems except for the one by Edger Allen Poe, it's called "Deep in earth" Let me know what you think of my poems, and I'll go get my fire extinguisher just in case the flames get to big.


	10. Chapter 10

Hello my fabulous readers I was once again blessed with wonderful feedback, you guys really do spoil me. I hope you enjoy this chapter, I would love to hear what you think as always and also what you think on the length of the story so far. Am I stretching it out too much and should wrap it up or continue on the current path? let me know.

Thanks again and enjoy the rest of your week

Lily's heart pounded furiously in her chest and her head swam. The feeling of betrayal thundering down on her, all she could think to do was run. She ran into the bull pen flustered, she violently shoved her jacket into her backpack along with her journal. Curious eyes followed as she paced the room as if caught in a tornado.

"Lily…are you…ok?" A concerned Van Pelt asked from her desk.

Lily ignored her walking over to Cho, "Do you have the file?"

"Why?" Cho asked the slight tightening around his eyes the only clue on his stoic face that revealed his concern.

"Uh…Lisbon wants it."

"Well I can give it to her then." He said rising from his desk.

"I don't know she's pretty pissed, I'd be doing you a favor by delivering it myself," She lied skillfully considering she was fighting off tears that threatened to spill from her blue gray gems.

He continued to stare at her questioningly "Just give it to her," Rigsby piped up after an intense silence.

"Alright but this better not be a crazy Jane like scheme." He said handing it to Lily, who grabbed it and shoved it into her backpack.

She let out a stiff humorless chuckle, "It's been a pleasure meeting all of you, I hope you find happiness and what not…oh ya and make sure your boss stays away from Mr. Jane I know she likes him." A mixture of shock and confusion played out on the faces of the three agents.

"What…why?"

"At the end of the day…you can't trust anyone," She choked out swinging her back pack over her shoulder and turned to go out of the bull pen then stopped and turned around once more, "Oh ya and tell Mr. Jane for me, good luck on his _puzzle_," she hissed each word dripping venom, then made a mad dash to the elevator.

"Wait, stop!" Van pelt yelled after her.

"Don't worry; I gave her a fake file she'll be back." Cho stated not taking his eyes from his paper work.

"I don't know, she seemed pretty upset."

"She's a hormonal teenage girl, Jane probably just pissed her off, she'll get over it." He sated matter of factly.

Grace apprehensively took her eyes from the elevator and back on to her computer screen.

A few moments later Jane and Lisbon walked into the bullpen arguing over something trivial.

"So what did you do this time to piss off a little girl?" Cho asked amused.

"Ya what was that all about, she seemed really upset." Van Pelt chimed in.

"Well usually it's more affective to chastise someone with a crime that they actually know what it is." He smiled brightly.

"You didn't say anything to Lily? She came running in here upset and told us not to trust you." Rigsby entered the conversation now.

"And told us to tell you good luck on your puzzle or something."

Jane stood there for a moment processing the information until his face molded into an expression of understanding. Every one stared at him in anticipation until Lisbon caught on.

"She heard." Jane merely nodded his head still lost in thought.

"Heard what?" Rigsby asked.

"She heard what you said Jane." Lisbon turned toward the consultant ignoring the agent

"We have to find her, she has no place to go and it's supposed to rain tonight." Jane said concern coming to life in his features, "Van Pelt did she say where she was going?"

"No…I…what's going on?"

"She heard a conversation Jane and I were having…" Lisbon began carefully not wanting to add to the guilt that Jane was probably already feeling.

"I said that I didn't care about her and that I was just trying to gain her trust so that I could solve the case." He stated bluntly, shocking Lisbon slightly.

"You said what?" the rookie agent asked appalled.

"It doesn't matter now; we just have to find her." In that moment he realized he truly did care about Lily.

The team furiously went to work checking surveillancevideo, calling local bus stations and rest stops, all who didn't recognize the description they gave. The entire team had come to care about their strange new friend and none of them were too happy with Jane at the moment including himself.

"Jane." Lisbon came up to him on his couch

"Ya?"

"We'll find her, don't worry" She reassuredgently

He was worried.

…

The darkness quickly swallowed the sun as Lily ran down the desolate streets.

"Well at least it couldn't get much worse" She comforted herself, just before large drops of liquid showered down from the sky and whipped past her as she ran against them, the wind felt like needles ripping past her flesh as she picked up speed, stinging her sensitive face. Her labored breathing thundered in her ear blocking out all sound but the squeak of her sneakers as they flew on damp pavement. She ran against the pain in her heaving chest, she ran against the rain, she ran against the world. She felt like all she ever did was run. The cold and darkness disoriented her, creating a type of euphoria, engulfed in her own world where she could out run anything, no pain could touch her, nothing could scare her, and nothing could hurt, but she couldn't outrun the reality that followed quickly on her heels.

She stopped outside of the store she had bought the flowers for Van Pelt, Reality had won and she realized that in the real world she was very much in pain, afraid and anything could hurt her. She was alone and that was the worst reality of all.

"Sam…Sophie…you out there…Sam…anybody!" She shouted out into the nothingness. The girl spun around squinting in every direction, waiting for something to attack her, waiting for the darkness to swallow her whole and suffocate her.

"Please…anyone," She panted slipping on the wet curb, her tiered body landed with a loud thud, hitting her head against the unforgiving ground, she moaned in agony. She pulled herself to rest against a stop sign and stared out into the distance. Hot tear bloomed from her eyes and cascaded down her worn cheeks, mingling with the rain, tears that feel silently, unheard by the world as the loud rain smothered her quit whimpers. That's what she was, silent to the world, unseen behind the brave façade. Unseen, unheard, and alone.

So alone in the freezing rain she sat, disoriented by fever and the throbbing in her head, lost in her chilling world of darkness and rain.

Softly calling, "Anybody…please…anyone out there?" She curled up on herself letting big raking sobs consume her rain socked body. Ghosts of her past her only companion in the web of terror and solitude she was incased in.

Little did she know that she not only wanted someone but _needed _someone to find her.

It soon would mean the difference between life or death and at the moment the odds weren't in her favor. Ignorant to everything but the fear and pain that consumed her she continued to call out.

"Hello…anybody...please…" she cried to deaf ears and was seen by only blind eyes

…

It seems as though no one can get a break, I know I'm evil…I hope you like it anyway though PS how would you feel about Lisbon Lily bonding? I'm not sure if I should develop a relationship between those two at this point in the story, also would you rather me wrap this thing up or continue on the path I'm on? Let me know, thanks 3


	11. Chapter 11

Hello every one, this chapter is dedicated to MissNitaGirl as a gift for the honor of having the first chapter of her story dedicated to me. I'm so glad you are reading my story and would love if you could also take the time to read hers, its only one chapter so far but I think she is going to write more it's called 'Bit of This Bit of That Mentalist Style' I defiantly recommend it!

Also I'm going to be on vacation in Hawaii for 8days, I'm taking my laptop with me but don't know if I'll have time to update. I'm so sorry but please bear with me I will update as SOON as possible, the 6th (my birthday) or 7th at the latest. Thank you all so much and I hope you enjoy

…

Once it rains it pours. That night, it poured. Lily looked up into the cloudy sky, her long locks in wet tangles around her clammy cheeks, her blue gray eyes swirling against the dark night sky. She shivered against the whirling wind despite her rapidly climbing fever. Her grip on reality becoming more distorted, the corners and lines of the world were becoming smudged and blended into the abyss, like oil pastels on a canvas. The drenched pavement lay uncaring beneath her frail shivering frame, the wind like teeth biting at her vulnerable flesh, and yet the city lay sleeping uncaring and oblivious, as precious time eroded away with the rain.

…

Jane sat rigid against cool brown leather, as his tea sat untouched on the adjacent table.

"Cho, any luck with the convenience store," Lisbon asked with as much rigor as she could muster. They were all working a late night trying in vain to find their lost friend. They worked in quite; the only noise filtering into the room was the soft hum of phones and the pitter patter of the relentless downpour. All agents except Lisbon gave Jane the cold shoulder, and if they got any colder toward him he'd have to wear a jacket.

"No one remembers seeing someone that matches her description boss." The dead pan agent replied slamming a piece of paper on the table.

"Any luck with the metro, bus station, anything?" She turned to Rigsby gesturing impatiently with her hands.

"No and no boss." He said frustrated. Lisbon sighed loudly, "Van Pelt?"

"Nothing," The fiery redhead said glaring at Jane, Lisbon flashed her a stern look telling her to knock it off. The tempers in side where quickly escalating while the temperatures outside were spiraling down.

The consultant stood and walked to the window. His big golden curls that usually shined like honey in the sun, were now jetting out untamed and dull in the dim light. His baby blue button up shirt was wrinkled and worn. His weary eyes longing for reprieve from light, and would like nothing more than to sleep beneath fallen lids. He watched the tiny crystals falling to the mighty earth, bouncing against the street and shimmering in the soft glow of a lonely street lamp outside.

"This is an utter waste of time. Lisbon lets go." He said turning on his heels facing them.

"Jane…"

"We should be out there looking for her, the rest of the team can stay here chasing up blind allies but I'm going to go look weather you come or not, I have a few Ideas of where she may be."

The brunette sighed in submission "Fine, but I'm driving, there's no way in Hell I'd let you drive me in your death trap you call a car in this weather.

He smiled and followed her to the elevator. It was amazing how much calmer the world looked when inside, when the two stepped out they were reminded of the power of nature. It was as if the earth was unleashing its fury, it cried through the rain and screamed through the rumble of thunder. The sky boomed as if someone was in the clouds bowling. The wind smacked them in the face as they exited there warm and safe domain, into the scorn of Mother Nature. Like a symphony around them, the mighty boom of the thunder the beating of the rain and now the crack of lightning surfaced in the mix, like strobe lights in the sky.

They sprinted to the CBI van, and jumped inside breathing heavily in the slightly quitter atmosphere of the vehicle. Normally both Lisbon and Jane enjoyed the rain, the soothing rhythmic beat, the feeling of the soft dew enriching and hydrating your skin as you danced in a whirl wind of mist and diamonds, the sweet perfume of the earth when the rain seeped into rich soil. This was different. It was not gentle and rejuvenating it was destructive and angry. Worst of all, their friend sat in the middle of it somewhere alone at the mercy of its power.

"Jane"

"Ya?"

"We need to find her."

"Ya, I know."

They drove in silence except for the occasional direction from Jane. They arrived at the park where Lily and Patrick had seen Sophie.

"Just stop here, I know where she is," He commanded taking off his seat belt, Lisbon quickly reached out and grabbed his arm, they stared in to each other's eyes, blue met daring green, after a moment she let go embarrassed.

"You can't just go out there in the rain, we…we can drive." Lisbon stammered frustrated.

"No the car may scare her off, it's just a few blocks away I'll be fine, stay in the car and I'll call you when I find her…ok?"

"This is stupid…let me come with you."

"You say that about all the things I do, only most of the time you don't want to participate" He gave her his charming smile and climbed out of the car.

He fought against the stinging wind to walk forward, the sky lit up as lighting darted from dark blue clouds like arms trying to touch to earth. Trees danced with the wind threatening to brake.

"Lily…Lily!" He called, but his voice was muted as thunder roared. Across the street he saw the silhouette of a slummed over body.

"Lily!" He shouted as he ran to her almost slipping as she had done. She looked up, not believing him to be real in her delirium.

"Go away you stupid hallucination, you're but a cruel product of my imagination." He crouched down in front of her, taking in her sickly form.

"Lily, I'm real, you're not alone now, I'm here."

"But you're not, and I am alone, I've always been alone!" fresh tears sprang from her eyes.

"One time when it got real bad…I was put in the hospital…_he_ put me in the hospital."

Jane was a little shocked at her sudden need for confession, he knew she was sick and needed help, but he didn't dare reach out and feel her forehead knowing she was frightened and confused.

"Who's he?"

She ignored him as if he wasn't there and continued, "My mom didn't know, she chose not to know, to live in ignorance, and I let her I wanted to protect her from the truth…but that night…I was angry and I shouldn't have yelled at her but I did, Why didn't you protect me, I asked her, why, it's your job to protect me!" She strained to breath between sobs, "She said…she said I could protect myself and walked out, I knew then that I was alone, alone then and alone now."

"It's ok, I'm here, I'm here for you." Jane tried to comfort her. He grabbed her arms gently and was shocked by the burn of her skin, she pushed him away with the little strength she had left. He stared at her through a veil of rain, searching for answers.

"Are you! I thought you were, I thought that for once in my life I had someone I could count on, I was so stupid I should have never trusted you, I…I liked you!" She sobbed loudly all walls washing away with the rain. She wrapped her arms around her stomach trying to keep her broken self from shattering to the ground.

Jane reached out and gently cradled her in his arms, she wiggled at first but he gripped her tighter but still careful not to hurt her. She grabbed fist full's of his sopping shirt, trying to anchor herself to reality, and cried into his shoulder. There they sat, two broken people together in there loneliness. The worried consultant was just about to pull out his phone when two bright lights surfaced from the dark. A short brunette jumped out of the van.

"I couldn't wait any longer. Is she ok?" A ghost of a smile crossed Jane, leave it to Lisbon to come to the rescue.

"She's burning up, she needs a doctor." His face hard and serious once more.

"I'm Fine" Lily pulled away, and at that moment she froze as if the wind had turned her body to ice, her eyes rolled into her head and her body convulsed violently on the hard concrete.

"Lisbon, hurry call 911" the only emotion that was strong enough to overpower Jane's guilt at that moment was fear, fear of the unknown. Had they gotten there soon enough?

…

Dun Dun Daaa! If you stick with me through my absence I promise even more drama, I do hope to _eventually_ mold Jane and Lilly's relationship in to a father daughter sort of thing, what do you think? Do you prefer friendship or do you like that idea? I also got a suggestion saying to make the Lilly Lisbon relationship Mother daughter so I thought it would fit nicely. Lilly's past in detail is coming in the next two chapters.

Let me know what you think about the chapter and thanks again for everything


	12. Chapter 12

Aloha from Hawaii, sorry for the delayed update, and thank you so much for sticking it out. This is just a quick update I thought I would squeeze in for you guys, especially for MissNitaGirl, this is my birthday present to you, Happy Birthday! I hope you all enjoy it and get ready for an intense couple of chapters. Let me know what you think, Mahalo (thank you)

…

Nervous feet paced cold floors, rubbing thumb and forefinger together, lost in thought. Jane really hated hospitals; they were cold, smelt of antiseptic and were ridden with death.

"You want to sit down before you run a hole in the floor," A still wet Lisbon asked sitting in a plastic Hospital chair holding tight to the blanket the paramedics gave her. Her voice sounded distant to him from his faraway place in his thoughts.

Before he had time to respond, a tall women with intelligent hazel eyes and a white lab coat walked into the waiting room.

"Anyone here for Lily Garner?" She asked scanning the small room.

Lisbon and the team jumped from their seats, "we are" The doctor seemed a little shocked at the size of the group but continued anyway.

"Hello I'm Doctor Amy Bartlett." She introduced herself professionally.

"How's Lily?" Jane blurted not wanting to deal with social niceties. The doctor didn't seem fazed by his rudeness; she was used to worried friends and family of patients.

"She's very sick, but stable." She reassured.

"So, what's wrong with her?" Cho asked this time, deadpan.

"She has a very high fever of 105, which we are working on decreasing right now."

"Did she get sick because of the rain?" Grace piped up confused.

"No, actually that's a common misconception; you can't get sick from the rain, however it can help worsen a preexisting virus. The immune system can be weakened and more susceptible to catching a virus from stress, lack of sleep, and malnutrition. Which I can't be sure about the stress but it seems to me Lily had all three."

Jane felt another wave of guilt crash down on him, _I knew she wasn't eating, I knew she wasn't sleeping, I knew she was stressed, why didn't I do anything sooner, how could I convenes people I was a psychic and yet be so stupid sometimes, _he thought bitterly to himself.

"What about the seizure…That was a seizure right?" Lisbon asked before Jane could compose himself enough to.

"Yes, when someone of lily's age has a high fever they can sometime have what's called a febrile seizure, the main concern with a seizure is lack of oxygen, she wasn't deprived long enough for there to be any long term damage, however we have on oxygen just to be safe. Another concern is, she has a minor concussion, she must have fallen and hit her head on something maybe before or during her seizure."

Jane's head was spinning from the medical lingo; all he wanted to know was if she was going to be ok. Ok. He didn't even really know what 'ok' was any more, or if they'd ever be it.

"Can we see her?" Jane blurted snapping out of his cold thoughts.

The doctor seemed to hesitate for a second, "Well…ok" The consultant inwardly flinched at the word, "I suppose you can one at a time, and be careful not to stress her, her body's still weak and doesn't need the strain." The women reluctantly led them to her room and stopped outside the door.

"Remember…be gentle" She eyed them hard then stepped off into the cachous that was the hospital.

They all stood there for a moment staring at the door until Jane shattered the thick silence, "I'll go first."

"Are you sure that's a good idea" Grace glared at him. Lisbon shot her a look back, and began more gently.

"Maybe Grace is right, I mean before she left you guys weren't…I mean she…you…"

"Violated her trust by reading her diary then expressing my dislike for her and that she means completely nothing to me" He stated bluntly still staring at knob as if it would bite him.

Lisbon flinched at his frankness, but nodded.

"You read her diary?" Grace asked appalled.

"What is up with girls and their diaries" Rigsby asked confused. Their conversation blurred into back round noise as Jane walked through the heavy wooden door. All was silent as he shut the door behind him. She lay deathly still in a bed that looked too big for her, the only thing that assured him she was alive was the soft beep of the machine and the gently rising of her chest.

The flood gates opened as guilt poured through, it was horrifying seeing her look so small so breakable, with a whirl wind of machines around her. _I put her in this bed…no I can't be ridiculous I didn't sign up to be her baby sitter she did this to herself…I did lie to her…did I lie about her trusting me, do I really care about her, _he was drawn from his conflicting thoughts, as her heard the soft ruffling of covers.

Her eyes danced beneath heavy lids, willing them self's to open, darkness was drowned by light as her big gray gems stared up into concerned blue pools.

She lifted the breathing mask from her face and in a raspy voice spoke, "What are you doing here?"

He surged his shoulders hiding the burn he felt from her unwelcoming scowl, "Didn't want you to be alone when you woke up."

She let out a cynical chuckle, "I was stupid ya know…to actually believe that for once in my miserable life someone else was there for me"

"Hay I didn't sign up to be that guy for you, I didn't volunteer to be your baby sitter, ok?" He said suddenly defensive, he immediately regretted it.

"Oh I know, Patrick Jane is an island, Patrick Jane doesn't need any one, Patrick Jane can't concern himself with anyone, Patrick Jane likes to be alone... and who could blame you, thank you for making me realize I am…better off alone" Her stare was icy and relentless. It was then he saw it, saw that she was turning hard and bitter and even more distant from the world than she already was. She was turning into him.

"Trust me…you don't want to be alone…"

"You seem to be doing ok." She snapped back

"Every morning I walk into work and drink my morning cup of tea alone…there's lots of people around me, people I've come to care about…but ultimately I'm alone they don't see behind my walls they don't see my pain, they don't see me, because I hide like a coward, and the price for that is an awful lonely life…you don't want to be alone." He had never admitted that to any one and was shocked at his own confession, he desperately didn't want her to be like him, heck he didn't want to be like him.

"If you touch a stove and get burned, why would you be stupid enough to go back and touch it again? People are unreliable, people are fire and if you hang around them you will get burned. Like I said before if you're lucky you stop loving the people you love before they die or leave you…I'm not lucky." She stated with a lingering edge to her voice and was panting more heavily now, she put the mask back on looking down ashamed of her weakness, then continued after she took a few deep breaths.

"I was foolish to mix emotions and business, it distracts me from my mission, I think it would be best to put emotions aside and with the permission of Hightower continue the case in tandem, weather I like it or not you're the best…and I still need that favor."

He stared at her as the realization of what he meant hit him "You're too weak, the process of remembering and reliving the past it grueling." He shook his head. He was amazed at her determination, and even more shocked that even though she had little trust in him now she would allow him to perform hypnosis on her making her completely vulnerable in his hands.

"Please…please." Her eyes burned intro him with the intensity of a roaring flame. He sighed heavily and looked around the room as if it had ears that would listen in.

"Fine. Get dressed and hurry" He turned to face the door to give her privacy as his mind screamed at him not to do what he was going to do...was everything going to be _'ok'_?

Deep down he doubt it was…he was very rarely wrong.

Hope you enjoyed another cliffy and thank you so much to those of you who stuck out the long wait. Enjoy your birthday MissNitaGirl!


	13. Chapter 13

Hay everyone, I wrote this yesterday because I was sitting. In my room. Alone. On my birthday: / oh well sorry I didn't post it yesterday I still wasn't thrilled with it, but I think it turned out ok. The next chapter is going to be a really hard and you'll know why by the end of this one. I also think you'll be glad to know I threw in some Lilly Lisbon bonding time and there's more to come.

Thank you, MissNitaGirl, Jisbon4ever, MadToTheBone1, Chocolate fish (a new reader) and Anna for reading and reviewing as well as those that add my story to Alert/Favorites

Enjoy

….

"I'm ready" An eager voice sounded behind him. Patrick was just about to open the door when he remembered that the team was standing right outside the room.

He swore under his breath and turned back to Lily, "Every ones outside, get back in bed, I have a plan." He commanded and she grudgingly complied.

He walked out to find Grace and Rigsby still in a heated discussion over the hardships a young teenage girl faces, and the insensitive nature of males.

"Lisbon, need you for a moment" Her eyes widened with curiosity and she followed him back into the small room. He guided her to the corner and whispered, pretending to care if Lily heard.

"Will you talk to her, she's still pretty upset."

"What!" She said loudly, then turned to smile at Lily embarrassed and turned back to Jane

"What" She hissed a whisper, "I don't know what to say to her…I'm not good with this kind of stuff."

"Sure you are, you have that maternal instinct plus as Grace would say, you understand the hardships of young emotional teenage girls," She couldn't help but smile at him mocking Grace, then quickly retrieved her composure

"Ok…but come back quickly." She awkwardly walked over to the girl in the hospital bed. He only had a small window of time to work his magic and make an escape, so he hurried out the door without hesitation.

"Anyone hungry? I know you must be Rigsby, you haven't eaten sense lunch." Jane said clapping his hands together and looking throughout the group.

"I don't know Jane. Doesn't Lisbon need us here?" Cho stated stoically.

"She actually recommended we go busy ourselves, she says she has no need for us at the moment, just questioning Lily."

"I am pretty hungry." Rigsby admitted holding his grumbling stomach.

"Well…ok" Grace finally agreed and they all started off to the cafeteria, Cho pulled Jane to the side when the others had their backs turned.

"Did Lisbon really say that?" He stared hard at the consultant the same way he did when interrogating suspects.

"Come on Cho my man, don't you trust me?" Jane smiled playfully.

"No, you're a bull shit artist" He stated plainly, Jane had to suppress the laughter building in his throat, _gota love Cho._

When they got up to the counter Jane pretended to check his pockets,

"Dang it you guys, I left my wallet in the car…I'll be back." He knew any other day they would probably offer to pay for him, but today they were all mad at him and he figured he'd use it to his advantage.

….

"So…" Lisbon began not being able to stand the suffocating silence anymore. Lily gave her the warmest smile she could with the breathing mask on and gestured for her to sit down in the chair by her bed.

"How are you feeling?" The agent asked politely.

"You can go ahead and ask it…I know you've been itching to ask ever since you found out."

"What…I…I don't know what you talking about" She shook her head confused

"The answer is yes, that file is mine, and they were my family." Lisbon gaped at her confused.

"Mr. Jane isn't the only observant person on the team." She smiled mischievously.

"That's amazing…and incredibly annoying, your just like him," She began to laugh but quickly found that Lily didn't find it equally funny, as the young girls smile faded and turned into a nasty scowl too ugly for her beautiful face.

The agent let out a sigh, "I know your upset with Patrick, but he didn't mean it, he's just…closed, like, like a window, when it's closed it's dark and cold, but when it's open its bright and warm and….why are you looking at me like that" Lily was now smiling widely at her.

"You called him _Patrick." _

"What…no I didn't" Lisbon's face tuned rose red as blood rushed to her soft cheeks.

It was Lily' turn to sigh, "You like him…you deny it but you do…just be careful you can't trust him."

"**I DON'T** **like him we have a strictly ****professional**** relationship…but I suppose I do care about him." She became thoughtful as she remembered her conversation with the man after they arrested the sheriff that was in cahoots with Red John,** _**"You have people that care about you, people that need you." **_**She was one of those people. He was devastated when they lost Red John, but yet he shot the sheriff, their only key, their only link to the man that he hated with an inhuman passion, to save her. She did trust him. **

"You ok?" Lily asked gently stirring her from her thoughts.

"I do trust him, I didn't at first, but I do now, I trust him with my life. He'll be there for you when you need him most." It was quit for a few moments as they fell into their own thoughts.

"I wish I could believe you, I wish I could trust him…I care about him but I wish I didn't" Lisbon's heart went out to her, she knew she wished she could have had some one there for her when her mother died, she wish she wouldn't had to carry the world on her shoulders, she didn't have the easiest childhood, but Lily's was an example of how it could have been much worse, and she defiantly didn't deserve to be alone. Plus Lisbon had started to enjoy her company she was smart and funny, like Jane.

"I know it's not easy for you to trust, but I promise you if you ever feel like you can't trust anyone else in the world even Jane… I know you don't know me that well but…you can trust me." Lily was touched at the gesture even if she didn't believe it fully.

"You can trust both of us…and if he does hurt you, then I'll shoot him" The sweet sound of their laughter seemed to warm the cold drab room a little, like opening a window to let the sunlight in.

Jane walked through the door, "Uh Lisbon…"

"What did you do now Jane?" She let out an exasperated sigh.

"I may have insulted the nursing staff" He was good at lying Lily noticed, how ironic he was lying right after Lisbon was proclaiming his honesty, she felt a pang of guilt; he was lying to Lisbon because of her, she shook the thought out of her head and tried to focus on her objective _there I go again with the emotional attachment, I need to be objective, _she scolded herself.

"Jane!"

"What, in my defense they were incredibly ignorant and irksome…and I may have turned them against each other by reveling the sex scandal that was going on and one thing led to another and a minor cat fight may have broke out…unrelated to what I said of course but… " He flashed the brunette his charming 'you know you'll forgive me look'

She groaned, "The idea of shooting him is sounding more and more appealing" She told Lily before heading over to the door. Jane flashed both of them a confused look.

"Hay Lisbon."

"Yay?"

"Thank you." Lisbon gave her a warm smile and stormed out of the room to clean up Jane's fictitious mess.

"Let's go." Jane said, but Lily was already out of the bed and heading out the door.

….

"Are we doing it here?" Lily whispered in the dark, Jane sat a cup of tea in front of her as she sat in the kitchenette at CBI headquarters.

"No, I just need to get the case file, the pictures of…the crime scene will help provoke memories, normally I don't need extra visuals but you may be harder to hypnotize.

"So…where are we going to do it?" She was almost afraid to ask because she was afraid she already knew.

He took a deep breath preparing himself for her reaction, he knew she would most likely keep her horror to herself but he would still be able to sense it.

"…Your old house…where the murder took place."

Lily thought she was prepared for his answer, but her hopes of at least fringing composure escaped her grasp like every other hope she ever had. She dropped Jane's baby blue to cup to the floor where it shattered making a sea of glass and scolding tea on the floor at her feet. Everything seemed to slip through her grasp, but at this moment she needed to hold tight to her strength because tonight she would have to experience a hell she _hoped_ she would never have to relive again. She didn't believe in hope anyway.

….

Like always I hope you enjoyed. Lisbon4ever I through in some Lily Lisbon bonding time just for you More drama heading your way my fabulous readers!


	14. Chapter 14

Hay guys, this is a little darker than the previous chapters and the next will be the most intense so far. This and the next have been very difficult to capture the true horror and agony Lily relives while staying true to her and Jane's character as well. You have all been amazing throughout this whole thing. The story will dwindle down soon so I'd like to know if you think it's been a good run but I should stop or continue with a sequel.

Disclaimer: I own nothing!

Enjoy (make sure you read chapter13 for it to make sense)

….

"Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry" She mumbled quickly kneeling on the floor to pick up the glass, the hot tea burned her knees but she ignored it as she franticly searched the dark.

"Careful don't cut you self" he said guiding her up from the floor "I'm not worried about the cup…I'm worried about you, are you sure you're…" Before he could finish Lily hastily interrupted afraid he may be backing out.

"Yes!" Her voice rang in the silence, his blue eyes shined in the dark like an alley cats. They both didn't know if she was telling the truth. There was only one way to find out. He nodded his head and the two walked out without another word to each other.

It was surreal to her as they pulled up outside of the abandoned house. She felt her heart thundering in her chest as the cool night air enveloped her. It was how all her nightmares begin only now, it was going to be real for a second time. The house looked more like a hungry monster, everything it represented was death and yet it seemed alive in the night as the broken shutters moaned in the wind and the foundation groaned and creaked from old age. It was closed off by tape, not even the bank wanted anything to do with it, no one would take it. A place that once held the most precious things in the world to her was now just a grave, death lingered in the walls and floor boards drained of life and warmth. Windows were broken the door was now replaced by a piece of ply wood, not even weeds dared to grow in the dry ground around it.

She squeezed her eyes shut and tried to remember what it looked like, it was never anything fancy; they were always starved for money, but it was hers. Her home, where she tucked her sister in at night, where her mother held her as a young child, where life wasn't perfect but it was still alive.

Jane put a hand on her shoulder and she jumped from her own world. She forced her legs to move through the quicksand of fear and uncertainty.

She stopped in front of what used to be her mother's flower bed, and a small smile tugged at the corner of her pink lips.

"Tell me the memory you're thinking of" His voice seemed to rattle the creeping silence that plagued the air.

She looked up at him skeptically, "It helps." He assured.

"My mother…loved to garden, her favorite's were lilies," Jane let himself smile at her love for her mother.

"She always told me that no matter what had happened to her she could come out and bask in the sunshine and be with her flowers, and it would make things ok…one day we came out together but it was cloudy and her flowers had been killed, my father probably ran them over when he was leaving, and I cried." Lily took a deep shuttering breath and continued with as much detachment as she could, "She asked me why I was crying I told her because she had no more sunshine or flowers, and she laughed," Lily could hear her soothing laughter now, her mother had the most beautiful laugh, "She told me that she did, she told me that I was her sunshine and I was her flower and when I was around that was all she needed." Lily let the hot tears fall in the dark, hoping Jane wouldn't see.

"In your diary, she addressed it to her sunshine and her flower." He said gently making the connection. All she could do was nod, the sudden light of the memory dissipated in to the night and the eerie dark and cold rushed back around them.

"Let's get this over with," She said and walked into the house before she could change her mind. Jane felt weird following her in, he felt as if he was trespassing into her private world. Her breath caught in her chest, demons danced across the walls the smell of death burned her eyes. They had cleaned most of the blood but the faint out line still stained the floor.

"We need to set it up like it was that night." He whispered afraid to scare her. She nodded and busied herself setting it up from memory. She feared she would not be able to suppress the building screams inside of her if she didn't get out soon. _The sooner we do this the better, I can do this…I have to do this_.

She worked quickly ignoring the cries and screams that followed her in the dark.

When she was done two seats were placed in the front of the small living room when you first entered then a third closer to the door facing the other two. Candles were lit around the front illuminating the two chairs. She could see their faces contorted in agony in the flame of the candle light and quickly turned away.

"Ok Lily, I need you to relax." He led her out side of the house, in a perfect recreation of the dreadful night. She took a deep breath and focused on his eyes, letting them control her. Her biggest fear was not being in control, so it was extremely hard for her, she could feel ever fiber of her being pulling back from his swirling eyes and hypnotic voice, fighting for dominance. _Remember who you're doing this for…you have to try for them. _

"Lily don't fight it, just listen to the sound of my voice and the wind, how it swirls around and around and around it whistles then silence whistle then silence around and around, good." Her body relaxed and her mind was now pliable in his hands.

"Start from two weeks before the murders, what happened." He asked still holding tight to her shoulders her eyes flickered, her mind was trying to rebel so he asked again firmly.

"He's leaving, my mom and him got into it real deep, normally he takes out his anger on his punching bad, me, but tonight he yells at her she slaps him he goes to punch her back but I jump in front blocking her, your protecting a monster he yells at me then walks out and drives away…I never see him again and I'm glad he's gone."

"Is that all he says?" Jane asks eyeing her carefully, she seems to struggle for a moment but nods.

"Let's jump ahead, what happened the day of?"

"Mom's drunk, she does that a lot but more so lately after dad leaves, she's mad, Sophie's yelling at me to stop mom and that she wants daddy…they don't know the monster he is, it's better that he's gone and yet they yell at me to fix it. I can't, I can't handle it, I know it's wrong but I leave, I need to get away so I run to the park and stay there all day, I left them" Her glazed eyes dart back and forth as she watches it play out before her.

"It's ok…can you tell when you got home?" She starts to shack her head knowing what's to come. He tightens his grip and stares into her unseeing eyes.

"Lily…"

"It's dark…mom always leaves a light on…but tonight it's dark"

"Good, anything else strange about the outside of the house" He urged her to continue, bracing himself for what he knows is coming.

"No…I walk into the house," Jane carefully guides her through the door. Everything seems so real to her the smell of burning wax, the glow of the wooden chairs as the flame dances about.

"My mom and Sophie are tied to the chairs, tape over their mouths…I have to get to them, I have to help them" Her breathing is more erratic now as she feels there presence and their pleading stares. Lily feels like it's that night again, in the same house again, like she's alone. It's a different night and she is safe but it doesn't make the horror any less real. She is stuck reliving the moment her life began to crumble. She finds it's just as terrifying the second time.

"I tried to run towards them but a pair of hands catches me, I struggle against them but I'm too weak…I'm failing…I'm failing, he straps me into the chair, his breath in my ear is hot but I shiver…I've been waiting for you he says."

….

The next chapter will be the continuation of her reliving that horrible night it's got to get darker before it can get lighter sorry…I may update again today or Saturday it all depends on my schedule. Thanks again and I hope you are enjoying it so far despite the dark turn


	15. Chapter 15

Hay everyone, I hope you guys read the last chapter before you read this one because I only know if one person read it for sure and this is a continuation of chapter 14, anyway I feel compelled to warn you that this is a very intense chapter that some of you may find offensive or disturbing I can't tell you exactly what to be warned for without giving away the big secret so read at your own risk, I try not to go into specific detail about certain things. Considering the emotional stress the characters go through in this chapter I hope you will find it understandable that they might be a tad OOC. As always thank you all so much, you are the ink to my pen

Disclaimer: Don't own anything but you don't have to be a mentalist to know that tehe

He almost considered stopping her, but she was too deep now, he wasn't even sure he had control over her trance now. There was no turning back.

"He ties the rope tight against my wrists and ankles, he's walking over to them…they look so scared but I can't get to them, I yell at him to get away from them but…but he laughs!" Her eyes burned with fear and anger. Jane swallowed the lump forming in his throat, it hurt watching her anguish, her helplessness, all in the very room it happened.

"He leans in and whispers in her ear, I can't hear what he says but I don't care, the gleam in his eye is hungry and excited he drinks in her fear, I just want him away from her. My skin crawls at the way his eyes look at her, the way they seem to devoir her…" She could see her moms chocolate locks spilled over her shoulders and the beads of sweat matted her bangs. In the candle light she catches the gleam of a shiny object in the strangers hand, it's a knife.

Jane couldn't see what Lily did, but he felt her pulse quicken, and her breathing hitch, he knew it couldn't be good.

"Lily, what's happening?"

"He…He has a knife, I'm struggling against the rope, I can feel it cutting in to my flesh as I thrash about but I'm not strong enough, I can't reach her!" She felt the pain in her wrists and ankles that she felt on that fateful night as she struggled futilely against her binds like a caged animal.

"He plunges the knife into her stomach, I can't make myself look at the blood seeping from her wound, I'm a coward and can't do it…but I see her eyes burning in pain…I hear her muffled bloodcurdling scream behind the tape…she's hurt but I tell myself she's not dead, I can still save her, I just have to fight harder." She didn't know the end to the story yet.

He felt his heart ache for her, it was like watching a horror film where you know what's going to happen but the characters are ignorant to their own fate and you just want to yell at them, and save them, but you can't.

"Her stare is madding, she won't stop, she's pleading with me, imploring me to save her, I feel so helpless, I'm just sitting here watching her die, I'm just sitting here, while she bleeds to death!"

"He comes down one more time across her throat, she chokes on her own crimson blood, seconds seem like agonizing minutes…I watch the life dim from her ocean blue eyes…and…and she's gone." Lily shook her head trying to refuse the truth. "She's gone!" Her screams vibrated off the walls and sent a chill down Patrick's spine.

"I feel my sisters stare boring into the side of my head, but I don't want to look at her, I don't want to see those accusing eyes, those that see my lies…The only thing I can think of is when I would tuck her in at night and she would ask me to check under her bed for monsters…I would tell her there was no such thing, but tonight she knows that I lied, she watched her mother die by a monster, her naive peaceful world shattered, innocence torn. All she asks now is that I help her, guilty of no other sin then wanting to live." Tears slid freely down her checks sparkling in the dim light.

"He walks over to her, I yell at him to get away from my sister, but again he laughs, he roughly rips the tape from her mouth and she cries out in pain, her plump checks our stained with tears…sissy, she whimpers, help, please…his…his blade tares her pale flesh, blood pours from the wound in her chest, her shriek lingers in the hot air and then she's quit. She's too quite, there's blood, too much blood. I thrash violently calling her name but she won't respond…why won't she respond?" Big racking sobs consumed her, as she chocked on the tears that refused to stop. Jane could feel her crying, crying her soul out into the uncaring night.

"He stalks over to me, yet all I can think about is reaching Sophie, He unties me from the chair and I run over to her. I'm afraid to touch her; she looks deathly still and fragile in the night. Her chest is still…why, why isn't she breathing, I yell at her, Come on Sophie get up, get up! I scope her up gently as if she'll shatter at my touch, blood, so much blood, she's cold…I force myself to check her pulse…she's…she's dead…NOOOO!" Lily went into a fit of hysterical tears that shook her whole body, for a moment Jane feared she couldn't breathe as her chest wheezed painfully for each breath.

"I can't stand to look at her any more, but I c…c…can't b bring myself to let her go. Like a shadow I feel a breeze flow past me as he grabs me from behind. His large gloved hands squeeze my throat. He growls and commands that I look at her, I regretfully do, they both lie there in a sea of red and screams, and I feel like I too am drowning in it, the smell of rust and the warm liquid on my hands, the shrikes of terror ring in my mind. It's consuming me, I'm drowning, all around is red…deep crimson red! Fear and sobs were heavy in her voice. The consultants body went rigid, he felt frozen in time unable to help her, so close to her yet so far away.

Then a look of realization softened her fear "If he holds on a little tighter It will all be over, I pray he will just squeeze a little harder, a little longer and the sweet darkness will take me away, from this night, from this room, from this pain…" A crazed smile looked up at Jane, he couldn't believe what he heard she wasn't afraid of death, she wasn't afraid that that monster would kill her but that he'd spare her.

"Here it comes, he lets me get so close to death I can taste it, then droops me to the floor, I hit hard and rub at my offended neck, greedily lapping in air…Think I'd let you die he asks me, I'm just starting to have fun, his twisted laugh sets my teeth on edge. He runs his ringers through my knotted hair and lifts me from the ground, I yelp out in pain like a coward, he throws me against the wall, whit agony blinds me in the dark…He drags me back into the pool of blood and looks down at me with that hungry look in his eyes, that crazy gleam of sick excitement as he feeds off my fear," Her body shook repulsed by the memory of his touch. Jane's stomach rolled with the realization of what would happen next, what she didn't add in the report, he felt bile rise and sting his throat, a wave of disgust radiating throughout him.

"He…he got on top of me…I try to fight him, I really do, but my whole body aches and my head is still spinning…he overpowers me. His hands are all over me, crawling, possessive hands" She shuddered.

"He feeds his ravenous desires, my body exposed to him, weak and vulnerable in his hands and I hate myself for it. I refuse to look at him, but he slaps me and makes me…he tells me it's my own fault, I'm weak and a coward, I couldn't save my family and their dead because of me, he tells me…I'm a whore" She cried out again overwhelmed by anger and self-loathing.

Jane's fists clench involuntarily. He felt a strange protectiveness over Lily as if she was his own daughter. The thought of someone violating her and calling her such things made his blood boil in his veins.

"He says no one will want me, everyone will be repulsed by me, and no one will want to touch me or hold me out of compassion again. I'm disgusting he says, I'm tainted goods…I…I HATE him…but, he's right." New tears sprang to life in her tired brilliant blue eyes, her tears spoke volumes in the silence, they screamed her overwhelming grief. "He asked if my mom would approve of my failure, if she would mind if I was a slut like her, I was blinded by ire and furry, I spit in his face, I see his body tense and anger burn in his eyes, his face is covered by a mask all that shows is his dull yellow eyes…He showers me with hit after hit, you always get in to the _middle _of things, it's all he says, I don't know what it means, but I'm only half conscious now…he leaves and I'm alone…shivering in a pool of now cold blood…I'm all alone!"

"Lily, Lily, Its ok" He soothed, then pated her arm setting of the trigger to release her from her trance. Her knees buckled from underneath her and she feel to the floor sobbing and shaking.

Unspeakable grief gripped her as she chocked on her sorrows on the cold floor.

"I failed them Jane…he was right about me, the bastard was right!"

He held her shoulders loosely still afraid to frighten her, "look at me, don't you ever say that, you tried everything you could that night nothing that happened to them or you was your fault." He could feel her apprehension, _right she still doesn't trust you idiot. _ He leaned in slowly to embrace her, if she wouldn't trust his words he'd make her trust his actions, prove to her she could be loved, she could be touched with compassion, prove that she wasn't alone.

The young girl flinched slightly at first, "I won't hurt you…I promise" He scooped her up and rocked her gently as she cried into his shoulder. She replayed over and over in her mind how close she was to them, how she failed them. Her demons haunted her every thought, only now she felt slightly less alone.

Jane sat there taking solace in her warm embrace; all he could do was be there for her, and for the time being that was enough for both of them, ignorant to the missed calls on his phone and the cloud of trouble heading his way.

Apart from depressing I hope you enjoyed the chapter, Lilly and Jane's relationship are slowly strengthening but it doesn't mean they're out of the woods yet, Jane may have some trouble heading his way...


	16. Chapter 16

Guess whose computer decided to die on them, mine did! I am so sorry for the insanely long wait, plus writers block. I know this thing has been stretched out way to long as it is but I promise it's coming to an end very soon! Thank you all so much for sticking it out, you are all amazing! Enjoy

…

She took one last look at the house through the car window. So many memories held in the walls, in the ground, in the darkness that now washed over it. She squinted her eyes trying to see what it used to be. She could remember the smell of her mother's lavender floating in the summer breeze, the way the sun's warmth kissed her cheeks. She could see her mother in the garden and her sister chasing butterflies. All that was…and all that would never be again. Her sister's laughs turned to cries, the smell of lavender was now one of mold and death, and the sun suffocated by looming darkness. As the car drove away the house seemed to get smaller, nothing but a distant blur, driving away from the horror of what it became also meant driving away from the memory of the joy it once held. Unfortunately and thankfully they are some things you can never run from. _Good bye,_ she whispered under her breath, she hoped it would be her last one too. After a short silence Lily got up the courage to be the first to speak.

"I…I'm sorry you had to see that back there…I was weak" Lily mumbled staring out the window at the slowly disappearing House in the distance.

Jane swerved and pulled over to the side of the road abruptly and parked. Lily looked up at him in shock, but before she could say anything his look stopped her. He stared at her for a moment face serious in the dark.

"Don't you ever, say you're weak….what you did back there…Very few people would have the strength to do that, I wouldn't have the strength to do that." He continued to stare at her expectantly; all she could manage to do was nod weakly. Satisfied he started the car and continued driving. A shrill beeping shattered the quit that had settled in the air.

"Hello" Jane answered flatly.

"Jane?" An unsure Lisbon answered on the other side, his voice sounded cold and steely to her.

"Lisbon, how are you this evening?" His tone brightened once more.

"Jane where the hell are you!"

"Well my approximate latitude is…" He began cheekily

"Jane I am not in the mood, do you know how much trouble you're in?"

"Well judging by the tone of your voice I'm guessing quite a bit, but Lisbon I can explain."

"Oh no, no need for explanations I know exactly what you did, failed in your responsibilities of watching someone I specifically put in your care, you undermined my authority and went strictly against my orders, lied to me and my team, and kidnapped a minor, does that sound about right?" He could hear the anger climbing in her voice, like the red in a thermometer.

"More or less, ya that sounds about right." He said still maintaining a playful tone.

"I'm glad you find this funny Jane, because I'm sure Hightower is going to have a good laugh with you too when she talks to you. Get your ass down here now!" The only thing that followed was a long loud beep.

"How mad is she?" Lily looked over sounding concerned.

"Do you really want to know?" He chuckled dryly.

…

"Patrick the only reason I keep you around and make Lisbon's life hell is because your good, but as of late you've become even more of a liability, there comes a point when that out ways the benefits." Hightower stood in front of her desk in an ominous presence.

"Sense when does anything out way the benefit of justice?" The consultant asked slightly annoyed, he didn't respond well to being reprimanded.

"You're too close to the case, to personally invested, it affects your judgment it makes you biased and makes you a danger to the unit, which is why I am giving you a three week suspension." The women said with complete authority.

"So you're just putting me on time out, to correct my behavior" He laughed snidely.

"You understand that means that you have to hand over the Red John case, you're not allowed to be in possession of files while on suspension." The boss challenged back.

Jane's body become rigid at the mention of the case, "I get it back though, right, after I come back." He looked wildly between a guilty looking Lisbon, and Hightower.

"It doesn't work like that Patrick once the case is handed over it will be reassigned" Lisbon muttered from her corner.

"This is ridiculous, you guys have got to be kidding me" They could see his anger climbing.

"I don't kid, sorry Patrick but its protocol" She said plainly, and walked around her desk and began looking through papers signaling the end of their discussion. The tiered frustrated man let out a cynical chuckle and stormed out of the office, Lisbon trailing quickly after him.

"Jane, I understand your upset, but don't you think your overacting?" She said loudly from across the bullpen. He was already grabbing his jacket from the couch and turning back towards the exit of the bull pen.

"That's my case Lisbon and you know it, my family my case. Why is my behavior suddenly an issue anyway?" His icy blue stare was unrelenting, she forced herself not to squirm under it, but challenge it with the same power.

"When isn't it an issue? You know that this case especially you've been biased, your too emotionally attached, just like you get with the Red John case…"

"What are you trying to say?" He asked incredulously, he saw right through her and the thought made her uncomfortable. The three agents and Lily were now watching intensely sensing the confrontation escalating, like two Lions fighting for dominance.

"I don't know what you're…" The senior agent shook her head defensively.

"Just say it, you know you want to." His voice had a steely edge to it that sent a shiver down her spine.

"Jane…"

"Say it!"

"I…"

"Say it!"

"It's been years Jane, I think for the good of the team and yourself it's time to…"

"To what Lisbon?" You could almost hear the pain slip into his normally flawless velvety voice, the pain that he was skillfully hiding.

"To let it go, to get over it!" The brunette had reached her breaking point and confessed, but as soon as she said it she regretted it. The room fell into silence a thick uncomfortable silence, the kind you feel when you're alone in the dark.

"I'm glad I know you're feelings on the subject" He turned on his heels and quickly headed for the exit. Lily observed in horror, her new make shift family, a place where she finally felt safe was unraveling before her, just like her old house had been broken before her eyes. She refused to let it happen again. It was her turn to help Jane out and she wouldn't let him down.

"Wait!" She shouted shattering the thick quit, drawing everyone's shocked attention towards her. It was time for a showdown.

…

Alright I know by now you're probably tiered of this story but don't worry it's almost done, and I promise it will be worth the long wait. It's Lilly's turn to help Jane, oh and to learn a little more about the mystery! Dun Dun DAA. Thanks for reading


	17. Chapter 17

I know I just updated yesterday but I thought I would update as soon as possible to make up for how ridiculously long it took me to post the last chapter. I know the last chapter was kind of bland but I promise this one is better, even a little Jisbon moment.

After this only two or three chapters Thanks again and enjoy

….

They gawked at her in shock, while she stood there trying to calm herself.

"Do, you guys know what it's like to love someone…truly love someone, someone that you call your best friend, a person that the thought of not having them around scares the hell out of you, and you know that life without them would be a empty, dark, and cold?" Once they got past the shock of the blunt question they all thought of someone, Rigsby thought of Vanpelt, Vanpelt thought of Rigsby, Cho thought of his girlfriend, and Lisbon thought of Jane which caught her by surprise and she quickly waved away the thought.

"A person you can tell anything and everything, your hope and dreams and ambitions, a person that can always make you smile, a person you could picture yourself saying I do when you meet at the altar and would do it again and again and still say I love you. A person that makes you feel like you can soar and never fall" The agents smiled to themselves fondly at the idea, while Jane just stood rigid in the door frame knowing all too well where this was heading.

"Imagine having a child with that person, a mini them a mini you, your own flesh and blood. A child you loved more than you thought it was possible to love anything, one you would go to the ends of the earth and back for." Lilly didn't exactly know how it felt to love a spouse but she raised her sister herself, and she kind of in a weird way felt like a mother to her, and knew she would do anything for her.

"Then…one day, their gone…ripped from you, one day you have everything and the next nothing, absolutely nothing. Your world becomes void of light and warmth, you feel disconnected from the rest of the world, because you go through the motions you breathe and you heart beats but, it feels like your dead, because it seems impossible to be that numb to the world and still be considered living, it feels like you're an empty shell of yourself and all you can feel is anger and guilt and pain. You learn to live half alive, because you don't really want to live, not without them. To never hold them in your arms or tell them you love them…tell them sorry you failed them. You have no reason to live but the thought that maybe just maybe you can make it ok, make sure they didn't die in vain. People will tell you it's not your fault but you can't believe them because you told your family, you promised them you'd protect them…and they got hurt anyway. You need something to live for right you need some purpose? That purpose becomes revenge, it's a dark place to live, it separates you from everyone around you but it's all you have. It's strange to live in darkness when other around you walk in light, it feels like your drowning and no one can save you….It's a hard thing to _let go_ or to _get over._" Each word was laced with passion and pain, everyone in the room was stunned in to silence, engulfed by the somber quit.

"I…I'm sorry" Lisbon whispered refusing to look straight at the man she was discovering she cared deeply about.

Lily nodded, "Don't take this away from him, you guys are good for him" She smiled softly, "You guys were good for me"

"I'm sorry but as long as we are on this case then…"

"Transfer the case, if you helping me with the case means that Mr. Jane is suspended from it then I request it gets sent to another team, is that possible?"

The senior agent was taken aback for a moment then replied, "I suppose so…"

"Good. Thank you, for all your help it's been an honor working with all of you" She hurried out of the room as if it were on fire and didn't dare to take another look at any of them afraid she'd lose control of her emotions. She quickly brushed past Jane and practically sprinted to the elevators. _Not again, I'm not letting her run away again._ He thought determinedly to himself. He ran after her right as the elevator doors closed, he rapidly pushed the down button on the outside of the elevators as if it would make one come faster. After what seemed like an eternity he excited the building as he Lily was running down the block and strangely go into an ally way. He ran after her and turned into the ally, it was overcast and cloudy out, making the ally dark and eerie. The smell of rotten garbage stung his nostrils as he walked further down and turned a corner. He froze in his spot like an icicle at the horrifying sight in front of him.

"Stay right where you are or I'll shoot" Came a snarl of a masked man holding a gun. The tip of the metal weapon was covered by a water fall of golden locks. She could feel the cold barrel being dug into the side of her head, it made her shiver. Her eyes were squeezed tight not wanting the last thing she saw to be a creepy ally way. Lily could feel her heart hammer painfully in her chest, lead death was inches was only a barrel length away.

"Ok…Just set down the gun, you don't want to do this." Jane said as calmly as he could given the situation.

He merely cackled in response, "Boss told me about you Mr. Jane."

"How do you know me?" He asked an uneasy feeling turning in the pit of his stomach.

"Curious one aren't you, Red John told me, I wasn't expecting you to show up though."

"You work for Red John?" Patrick asked eagerly

"I guess you could say my boss and him are good friends, but this doesn't concern you, my boss just had me come take care of some of his unfinished business," His lips curled in to a sick grin and tightened his grip on the gun.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you, I have agents surrounding this place I say the word they shoot." He threatened convincingly; he was quit the bluffer, anyone how played poker with him would know that. The monster with the ski mask seemed to consider that for a moment and shift his weight uneasily.

"I don't like to waste my time making threats I can't follow through with." The consultant shrugged calmly.

"Well I wouldn't do that if I were you either" The stranger said gaining confidence.

"And why is that?" Patrick challenged.

"I got information on Red John" He smirked pleased with himself. Jane analyzed him trying to cipher weather or not he was lying.

"Ether you're telling the truth or you a pathological liar."

"I know that he left you a little note on the door when you found them dead, and that he took his time to paint your wife's toes with her own blood…" The two men stared at each other intensely silently testing out their opponent. Lily took this window of opportunity to elbow her attacker in the stomach, he doubled over and two shots rang out, echoing off the brick walls. Lily felt hot agony shoot through her body like a lightning bolt, it took her a moment to register she was still alive, and where the pain was coming from. She clutched her side and fell to her knees, her fingers met a warm liquid, she looked at her hand to find it stained with crimson. Everything seemed to happen in seconds and now everything was going in slow motion. The scum of a man was already running away two bullets lighter.

Jane ran to Lily's side looking back at the quickly escaping man anxiously.

"You can go after him, He knows about red John…It's ok…you can go." She panted through the pain.

"Lily, I…"

"It's ok just promise me one thing, please don't…don't kill Red John when you find him." Jane was a little shocked at the request, but couldn't make his jaw move to speak.

"Don't waste something that your family no longer has the luxury to waste, they would want you to be happy, your friends want you to be happy…I want you to be happy."

"I…I don't know how" He whispered to no one in particular.

"Find what's really important to you…now…go" She closed her eyes, trying to close out the pain, She felt his warm hands move from her shoulder and the sudden lack of warmth made her shiver. She heard footsteps run off slowly dissolving into the distance.

She didn't know what one dying should think of, should she wonder if anyone will ever find her back here, will they have a funeral for her, who will come, who will speak about her, what they will say, who will cry? Will she finally see her mother and sister again? She didn't want to think of those things, she wanted to think of her new friends, of the gang and Lisbon, and Jane…he had sort of become the father she never had, yet he was gone. He left her alone to die. _Even though he is a father to me I'm not a daughter to him._ A single tear ran down her face, she tried to force herself to believe he cared about her even a little, but the solitude she felt screamed otherwise, she lay there on the cold concert as precious blood spilled from her side, _I guess in the end everything has to go, especially the ones you care the most about, _everything seemed to grow distant…

….

Don't worry the story isn't going to stop here, I'm thinking maybe two or three more chapters but I can't tell you if Lily's in them or not you're going to have to read and find out


	18. Chapter 18

Kind of a short chapter but I think Jisbon fans will enjoy it ;) I've already started on the next chapter and I'm really excited about it and have a little surprise in it as well. Thank you everyone for you encouraging and kind words as well as your understanding of my delayed chapter. Enjoy as always

….

She took a deep shuttering breath only to find it almost impossible at this point, her head swam and the corners of her vision blurred like a television filled with static. It was a strange feeling, dying, like she was choking on death as it tried to seep its self into her being and stop her heart. She was dying and she knew it, the world spun as darkness came down on swift wings and swallowed her. It was also strangely euphoric, she felt as if she were flying as the darkness carried her further and further away. The last thing she whispered into the stale air was

"I was right, you're lucky if you stop loving the people you love before they leave or die, I'm not so lucky…and I'm glad I'm not…" Her heavy lids closed putting to rest large blue gray gems, and she became blind to the world.

…

Jane ran as quickly as his legs would carry him down busy streets after the gun man. He couldn't shake Lily's voice from lingering in his thoughts.

"_They would want you to be happy, your friends want you to be happy…I want you to be happy" _

He barley dodged a lamp post distracted by his jumbled thoughts.

"_Find what's really important to you" _It whispered.

_I just need to focus_, he tried to convince himself, gaining on his elusive opponent.

"_What's really _important_" _the relentless echo sounded again.

_I already know what's important _he countered.

"_Really important" _

_Well that's… _

"_Really important" _

_It's…_

"_REALLY IMPORTANT"_ It was a scream now demanding his attention, refusing to let him evade the truth.

"Lily…" He whispered to himself, and stopped dead in his tracks, panting. Without a second thought he tore his attention away from the slowly disappearing man, possibly the key to his revenge, and began running in the opposite direction. His curls whipped around in the wind as he ran at full speed, ignoring his screaming chest. All he could think of was her smile, and he couldn't help but smile too. The smile melted in to a grimace of pain as the precious girl lay writhing in agony, bleeding, dying, alone.

She was right, he lived in a dark world, it was rare when he found a ray of sunshine, and now he refused to lose it. When a heart spends its life running in the dark, it becomes worn and torn and pale, but if it finds light it can beat again.

"Lily, Lily," He called out as he turned into the horrid ally, "Lily…" There she was.

He cloud feel his heart sink, the ground around her was stained with her blood, her life leaking into a puddle around her. She was pale and still, too still.

He ran to her and got on his knees, the now cold blood saturated his pants.

"Lily, come on wake up, Lily wake up" He gently shook her to no avail. He then decided to look for a pulse. Nothing…wait it was there very weak and slow but it was still something, he let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. The consultant wrestled with his brain to think what to do next and push past the fog of shock. _Think, think, I should call someone, 911. _He then reached for his phone having to redial several times because of his shaking hands. After the urgent call, he called Lisbon.

"Jane? Where are…"

"Lisbon come quick I'm in the ally about two blocks from the building"

"Jane what's wrong" She asked worriedly she had never heard him sound so…scared before.

"Lily's…Lily's been shot." He panted then hung up the phone, leaving a shocked Lisbon on the other side.

He watched helplessly at her still figure, like grains of sand in an hour glass, her life was slipping in his through his fingers. He gently scooped her up into his arms and cradled her.

"Come on Lily don't you dare leave me, I'm sorry I left but I promise if you pull through I will never, never leave you again." He buried his head in her golden hair, and squeezed his eyes shut, as salty tears sprang to life from his eyes. Sobs consumed him as he held on to her frail figure, he didn't care who saw as he choked on his tears.

"Don't you dare leave me, please…please" He remained like that until finally Lisbon and the team came running into view, shortly followed by the paramedics. Gloved hands whirled around him in a practiced ballet, everything seemed to be speeding by him while he was stuck in slow motion. Before the poor man knew it he was being helped up and led into the CBI van by Lisbon, followed by the others.

…..

He sat hunched over in a plastic hospital chair in the young girl's room. He jumped startled from his deep thought, when a brunet walked through the door.

She hesitated for a moment before saying, "Jane, you ok?" He continued to stare at the slow rise and fall of Lily's chest.

"Jane…maybe you should go clean up" She said noticing he was still covered in blood.

"I can't leave her." He said defiantly still not looking at his new company.

"She's going to be ok…"

"No thanks to me," He said frustrated. Standing from his chair he paced the room agitated, moving his hands as he spoke almost to himself "If, if she dies…it's my fault, I left her, just left her there because, because…If anything every happens to her, or you because I'm too stupid to realize I care about you guys then I'll never forgive myself!"

Lisbon's heart stopped, _did Patrick Jane just say he cares, about me?_

"I, I'm lost without you guys" He admitted, running his hand down the side of his face tiredly, he then looked down at his hand and realized it was now covered in dark crimson.

Despite her jumbled brain, Lisbon quickly walked over to the nurse's tray on the side of the room and picked up a washcloth and dipped into the water glass beside it. She walked over to the distraught man, she felt a tingle run through her like a blot of electricity at the close proximity she was to the man. She lifted his hand in hers slowly and then gingerly began to wipe his hand as if she were wiping the delicate skin of a baby, his hands were rough but warm. They then both looked up into each other's eyes, and she quickly dropped his hand.

"Is it true?" She whispered not knowing if she was prepared for the answer,

"Do you need me?"

…..

So what do you think? Let me know, what you think and what you think Jane's replay should be. The next chapter should be posted tomorrow. Thanks again


	19. Chapter 19

*hugs* All you guys know exactly know how to make me grin like an idiot. Your reviews were very encouraging and uplifting, a true gift to a writer! This chapter has a good Jisbon moment as well as Lilly/ Lisbon bonding as well as the big conversation between Jane and Lilly. There is also a little surprise visit from an old character ;) Next chapter will have some Rigspelt as well so everyone will be happy (I think). Thank you all so much and please enjoy

…

Jane continued to stare into her sparkling emerald beauties, mesmerized by her intoxicating smell, cinnamon.

"Do you need me? Cuz I remember a certain Patrick Jane telling me he didn't need any one; that he was an island." He let out a low laugh and looked back down at his feet.

"Ya well Patrick Jane's an idiot" He looked back up and smiled at her charmingly. She let out a relived breath and smiled back.

"Well it doesn't take a mentalist to tell you that" She responded, and for a moment fear flashed in her eyes and Jane saw it.

"Sorry…I uh…" He stepped back giving her space. She was afraid of where being with him would take her but she was more afraid of not being with him. The determined agent finally, for once in her life, let her emotions talk instead of her brain, and filled the space between them, she wrapped her arms around his waist and nuzzled her head in his chest.

"I need you too," She whispered. "And I'm here for you…you don't have to be strong all the time Patrick, I'm here for you. He rested his head on her shoulder and let quit tears fall. She tightened her hold on him when she felt him gently shake with grief.

"You keep me grounded you know that?" He whispered sweetly into her ear

"You're aware that's incredibly corny right?" She teased back

"Painfully aware my dear." He could feel her smile into his chest

"It's ok, cuz you help me fly."

"And I'm the corny one?" They both laughed filling the room with the beautiful chorus. After a few more minutes of holding each other they steeled down in the uncomfortable hospital chair, Lisbon curled on his lap. He watched her as she slept, he gently moved a black curl from her face and gave her a soft kiss on the cheek, hoping one day that he could kiss her soft pink lips. Knowing both girls were safe (for now) he allowed himself to be carried away by a peaceful sleep.

Lisbon woke up first, wincing at the harsh light and the stiffness in her back. That was of course expected from sleeping curled up in a cheap plastic chair, what she didn't expect was two curious clouded blue eyes staring back at her.

"Lily?" She whispered in disbelief. She carefully but quickly got up from Jane's lap, and walked over to the side of the young girls bed.

"Lisbon" She looked at her skeptically trying to remember her, there was an intense silence between them, before a warm smile crept across Lily's lips confirming her recognition of the other women.

"Oh God…" Lisbon breathed, before warping her arms gently around the patient.

"I'm so glad you're ok," She whispered through relived tears

"I, we, were so scared that…" She struggled to finish, not wanting to say it out loud. Much to her appreciation Lily picked up on this

"I know…so is Mr. Jane's lap _comfortable." _ She asked mistchiviously. The agent blushed a deep red.

"Oh God, Jane, he's going to be so happy you're awake!" She paced back over to the sleeping man, eager to tell him the good news.

"Wait, don't wake him, let him sleep."

"Are you sure?"

"Ya…besides I'm kind of tiered." Lisbon nodded respecting her whishes, then headed for the door wanting too give the two privacy to sleep.

"Lisbon…" Lily called right as she reached the door.

"Yes?" She turned around smiling at her kindly.

"It's really none of my business, but I think you should call them"

"Excuse me?"

"Your brothers." Blue eyes pierced stunned green. The women stood there with her mouth agape in shock.

"I understand it's complicated, and that it was tough for you but…they're your family, and you need to hold on to that, I mean if Sophie were still alive and I lost contact with her I would want someone to tell me to call her, because in the end despite all the pain and hardship you associate with a person, those are the ones you need in your life, they're the ones that have seen you through it all. Besides you could build some good memories now…just think about it." She smiled sadly at the other women.

Lisbon wasn't even going to ask how she knew about her family, she figured it was just an annoying Jane like quality.

"You're something you know that…pain in the ass, but special." She smiled at her still a little thrown about the conversation, then slipped out the door having a lot to think about.

Lily sighed and leaned back into the bed, she was still confused about how she got there, she thought for sure that she had…well died. She knew she would have to ask Jane about that though, later, much later if she could help it. A loud yawn fell through her lips, and her eyes grew heavy from fatigue. _They must have me on some good stuff_ she thought contently before drifting off into a drug induced slumber.

When she opened her eyes once more, her head spun and she felt dizzy from the offensive blinding lights, and the medication they had her on. Slowly the fuzzy image became sharper and she was greeted by electric blue pools. The consultant tried to hide his relief and excitement behind a wall of coolness.

"You know, you should really consider getting a time share here, seeing as how often you come here" A genuine smile graced his face from ear to ear.

"Ha-ha, nice to see that you're still your arrogant self, I'm just wondering how you managed to fit your ego through the door." They both laughed, enjoying the light banter.

To Jane's dismay, Lily's smile slowly faded into a look of seriousness. She looked down playing wither thumbs as if they were they were terribly interesting.

"Um how, what…I mean, I thought, you…I thought I…" He was dreading this conversation, but accepted that it was coming. He sighed and dragged the chair over to her side.

"I ran away because I was stupid, and misguided but most of all I think I was scared, and as much as I am ashamed to admit it, I was. I was scared of loosing something else that's precious to me, so I ran, I was afraid that I actually might care deeply for someone else again and lose them, but by running I almost lost you any way…and I'm sorry. I promise I will never leave you again"

"Why?"

" I found my ray of sunshine and I'm not letting it go."

She didn't know what to say or what to think, she just stared at him not knowing whether to trust him. All she knew is that she was glad he was there now, they still had a long way to go but maybe just maybe, they were going to be _ok_. For once in a very long time maybe Jane and Lilly would know the meaning of being ok (A/N reference to earlier chapters)

"So are you just going to stand there or are you going to give me a hug?" He sighed relieved at the brake of tension. He leaned in and hugged her the way a father would hug a daughter, in that moment he knew that it would be impossible to ever leave her again, Lily, his Lily.

A nurse in purple scrubs chose that moment to interrupt their moment

"Excuse me, but there's someone here for you Lily, a young boy named Sam I believe."

…

Do remember who Sam is? He's that flower guy. How do you feel about a little fluff between Lilly and him? I don't know if I exactly like how this chapter turned out but please hang in there I have a little more planned for all of you. Thanks every one you all get awesome points in my book…which actually by society's standards may not be such a good thing…lol.


	20. Chapter 20

Originally this chapter was a lot longer and it was going to be the last one, but I decided to break the ending up into two chapters, to help flow and also give you guys (and myself) a little more time with this story. Every one of you has been truly amazing throughout this story without your support this story wouldn't have come this far! So without further a due I hope you enjoy part one of the end *sniff* *sniff*

Special shout out to: Jisbon4Ever, MissNitaGirl, Anna, and MadToTheBone1

…

"S, Sam…What are you, I mean how did you…?" A very confused Lilly sounded from the small bed, as the young boy walked in, a beautiful bouquet of white Lilies in hand.

"Well for one your pretty famous as far as local news goes, I heard you were hurt and I just wanted to make sure you were, well, ok" He rubbed the back of his head nervously, glancing between Lilly and Patrick.

"Hey punk, you seem pretty egger to get rid of me" Jane snarled approaching him menacingly.

"No…no Sir…I, I, I…Just" He stammered, under the taller mans uncomfortable glare.

"Aaaah, I'm just kidding, that was great though you should have seen your face" The older man burst out laughing, earning a glare from Lily as she rolled her eyes.

"I'll leave you two alone" He smiled and slipped through the door before Lily could protest.

"He seems…pleasant" Sam said still pale, earning a laugh from Lilly, he loved the sound of her laugh.

"You get used to it" She smiled apologetically at him, he waved his hand dismissing the silent apology.

"I brought you Lilies, they reminded me of you." He said setting them on the table beside her bed.

"They're beautiful, thank you" She smiled full heartedly; she had never had a boy give her flowers before.

"So how are you, well I mean obviously not well or you wouldn't be here, not that you don't look well, I guess I mean to say how do you feel that's kind of a stupid question too I mean you just got shot, but I guess they have you on some good stuff, morphine I mean, not that I know what its like, I've never needed any or used any I'm not a druggy, I've just heard about it, but not from other druggies I mean…"

"I'm doing fine," Lily decided she wasn't going to be cruel and leave him hanging despite how entertaining he was.

"You nervous?" She asked barley containing her laughter

"Me? no not at all, ok maybe a little." He couldn't help but laugh at himself at this point. He sat down in the chair next to her, and pulled off his back pack, and pulled out a brown paper bag.

"What's that?" She asked not being able to contain her curiosity.

"Well, I asked you out to lunch before but if I remember correctly you said you were too busy, so now I figured you don't seem too booked at the moment, so you wouldn't have any other lame excuses to reject" He smiled brightly, while Lilly blushed embarrassed. He opened the bag reveling two sandwiches and a couple of caned sodas. They sat and talked and talked, from things about the whether to dreams and aspirations, it was enough for just a while to keep all the drama of the rest of the world at bay behind the other side of the door of her room.

….

She paced back and forth by the vending machines, her hands shaking ever so slightly. She took a deep breath and steadied herself, leaning up against the front of the machine. She dialed each number hesitantly, the ring seemed to drone on for an eternity, slowly building an incredible suspense, and right before the nervous women was about to hang up, a voice sounded from the other end. Her breath caught in her chest and her heart stopped,

"Hello…Hello?" The voice asked, it almost sounded surreal to her now after all these years.

"Tommy?" She asked timidly, there was a short silence on the other end.

"Tessie?" The voice of a young man sounded in disbelief

"Hey baby brother," Lisbon couldn't help the tears of joy that gently cascaded down her cheeks as well as the smile that accompanied it.

…

Rigsby tapped his foot nervously on the cold waiting room floor, much to the agitation and confusion of Van Pelt he had been jittery for the past half hour. He would open his mouth as if he were going to finally say something then close it and look away.

"Rigsby, please just tell me what's up with you" She looked at him with a mixture of impatience and tenderness as Jane would say "mix a little of the bitch with nice, and a little nice with the bitch".

He seemed to think about it for a moment before giving in and asking, "Alright but you can't get mad ok?"

"Ok, I promise I won't" In that moment he leapt from his chair, gently grabbed her face in his big soft hand and smashed his lips to hers, at first she pulled away out of surprise, but as her brain registered his lips on hers she became putty in his hands. They both pulled away breathlessly panting softly in the small space between them.

"When Lily was talking about the one person you truly care about, and how life would be miserable without them I couldn't stop thinking of you. I know it's against the rules and I know the possible repercussions but nothing is as bad as thought of not telling you how much you mean to me and have it be too late."

"Wayne, I don't…"

"Please, give it a chance; go out on at least one date with me"

For once she did take a chance, she took a leap, and pleasantly that landed her back on his lips. _I'll take that as a yes. _

…

"Hey babe" the Asian man smiled at the sound of his girlfriends voice.

"Ya remember when you asked if you could move in and I said no you were moving too fast." He said matter of factly

"Well I was wondering if you would still want too, I love you" Every once in a while the stoic man could be surprisingly sensitive and romantic, this time it was just enough to get a yes from his lover.

…

The consultant strode over to his favorite agent.

She had felt a huge weight lifted from her shoulders at the end of her third phone call, and was now staring off in blissful thought.

"Teresa, you ok?" He asked walking right in front of her so he could read her eyes.

"I'm, fine" She said honestly with a small smile to herself.

"You called them didn't you," He stated more than asked. She stared back at him dumbfounded; he never seized to surprise her.

"How did you…never mind, let me guess your going to say you can read my mind. I wonder what I would find out if I could read your mind right now" She said with a cheeky playful air.

"Well then you would know that I love you." She felt her pulse quicken like a horse on a race track and her mind spin. _Patrick loves me, me, he loves me!_

"Patrick…I love you too," She said almost disbelieving her own words, she never thought that she would describe her feelings for the man as love, annoyance maybe but love? Love, the feeling that made you feel like you were flying and could ever fall, the magical feeling that makes you want to dance and scream and cheer.

"I know, I can read your mind remember?" Lips collided, there beings became one, and their souls flew, it was a symphony of beauty and possibility.

When Lilly said she had grown from them she was right she had, but what she didn't know is that they had grown even more from her. They had learned that it's ok to jump once in a while, because sometimes you might not fall, in fact you might even end up flying.

…

I know I just went super montage sequence on you but it was the only way I could get everything to fit. I know there was no cliffy or anything like that but I thought everyone deserves a little love considering how mean I've been to them. I also didn't go into super detail about the highly awaited Lisbon Jane kiss because I like to leave more to the readers imagination and I wanted it to be more "magical" that way. I hope you liked it because the next one will be the last

PS: If Lisbon were to give Jane a gift for his birthday what would you think she would get him? I have a few ideas of my own, just wondering what you all think.


	21. Chapter 21

This is a very bitter sweet moment, I have thoroughly enjoyed writing this over my summer break, it is by far my favorite fan fiction I've written so far and I owe that to all of you, for your kindness and dedication. I have to admit as pathetic as it sounds I almost teared up writing this last chapter not because the chapter its self is necessarily sad, but because I've grown attached to the characters and will miss writing this story. I hope that we can still communicate in the future, I have a few more stories coming up (maybe even a squeal mwahaha) and I would defiantly look forward to reading your work as well.

P.S. two references to episode18 season2 (Aingavite Baa) and episode21 season2 (18-5-4)

P.S.S. I know I did shout outs the last chapter but I'm going to again,

MissNitaGirl(very first reader) and Jisbon4ever, you two write the kindest reviews, So a big thanks to you, as well as Anna and MadToTheBone1. As far as I'm concerned your friends to me

Without further stalling here is the end…

…

A week later after Lilly had been discharged from the hospital, against the strict recommendation of her doctors which she had ignored, the team huddled around celebrating Lily's return as well as a certain consultant's birthday.

One by one they eagerly gave him their presents, which he had guessed the identity of before he even opened them.

"I don't know why we even bothered to wrap them," Grace complained, evoking a satisfied smile from Jane. Rigsby handed his present to Jane first, it was a gift card to a local tea shop,

"Thank you Rigsby, is this a place that you like?" Jane asked curiously, not thinking of Rigsby as too much of a tea fan.

"If I liked the place I wouldn't be sending you to them and making them deal with you" He laughed at his own joke until he realized he was the only one laughing, then quickly stopped, embarrassed.

"Open mine next" The red head agent exclaimed excitedly.

Van Pelt gave him a beautiful wooden chess board, "I remember how much you enjoyed playing chess with that one creepy genius guy, so I thought you may like to have a board of your own"

"Thank you Grace, its perfect" He smiled appreciatively at her, before being handed Cho's present, which was, as he guessed, a psychology book. He was also pretty sure it was a re-gift but he didn't mention it. Lisbon's gift was slightly less predictable, it was large and bulky, but soft. It was wrapped in plain brown packaging paper, for a second Jane didn't even know what it was, then a look of realization brightened in his features and he looked eagerly form the present up to Lisbon and back down again.

With childish excitement he tore off the paper reviling a colorful Indian bonnet. It had large beautiful feathers, rich red and vibrant yellow patterns wrapped around the base, but the true piece de resistance was the two fluffy raccoon like tails that hung from the sides. It was exactly like the one he had tried on at the reservation in the souvenir shop.

"Lisbon, you shouldn't have" He looked up at her with a charming gleam in his ocean blue orbs.

"Well I wouldn't let you have it the first time, besides it would be a crime not to let the world see you make a fool of yourself wearing it" He placed it over his golden curls and straightened his neck to wear it proudly, the room erupted in laughter at the ridiculous sight.

"Oh come on Lisbon, you know you think I look sexy in this" She turned a familiar shade of red.

Lilly turned to Cho "Are you sure they haven't shagged yet? Rigsby and Cho struggled to restrain their laughter.

"Shagg?" The rookie agent asked confused

"You know carnal knowledge, sexual intercourse, getting, as younger people might say, Jiggy with it" Lilly said matter of factly. Grace looked disgusted, Cho and Rigsby were cracking up, Jane was shaking his head, and Lisbon was blushing like a mad woman from embarrassment and anger.

"Lilly" The senior agent said appalled.

"How sweet, your blushing" Lisbon gave her the 'I'm-not-playing' look, and she quickly wiped the grin off her face before the fire cracker that was Lisbon blew up in it.

"Sorry, any who this is for you" She smiled handing Jane a small white box, even he was stumped on what it was. He gave her an inquiring look before gently opening the top, inside lay a robin's egg blue tea cup similar to the one she had broke the night they went back to her old house. He stared at the wonderful gleaming cup fondly.

"Look on the bottom" The young girl urged giving him a knowing smile.

Jane gingerly pulled it from its home and turned it upside down, on the bottom the engraving read

"_May you never drink tea alone again love Lilly" _ He instantly remembered what seemed so long ago now, when he was trying to convince her not to live a lonely life and shut people who cared about her out, how every morning he would come in and drink his tea alone. Those few words would have little meaning to anyone else, but to him they spoke volumes.

"Not with you around I won't" He whispered under his breath so that his words were barely audible to anyone in the room, except for Lilly, she heard them loud and clear.

…

After the small celebration only Jane, Lilly, and Lisbon remained. Lisbon was in her office doing paper work as usual, Lilly sat quietly at Rigsby's desk staring out the window at the passing world, and Jane sat board on his brown old friend idly flipping through the psychology book Cho had given him.

"That's it," The impatient man said getting up from his couch, He grabbed his jacket and headed off for Lisbon's office and as he expected Lilly followed close behind.

"Come on, I'm taking you both out to dinner" He said eagerly rubbing his hands together.

"Patrick, I have a ton of paper..." She started to protest before, of course, he interrupted her.

"Listen women I don't think one night out will hurt you, besides it's my birthday" He pouted like a child that didn't get its way.

"I just don't think that…what are you laughing at?" She asked distracted from her thoughts, as her attention was directed toward the giggling teenager.

"Oh nothing, nothing, I think you should just give "_Patrick_" what he wants though or he's goanna keep it up all night" Lisbon realized two things, one that she had called Jane by his first name out loud, and that it felt good too, and also Lily was right he would be bugging her all night, besides it did sound like fun.

"Ok fine." The agent relented

"I know you're secretly excited" He said bearing a triumphant smile, before bumping in to Hightower on his way out of the office.

"Oh sorry about that, fancy _running into_ you, finally came to give me my birthday present you owe me?" He teased.

"Actually yes, I've thought about it, and just this once, I'm going to let you off the hook and retrieve your suspension, but don't think this is going to be a regular thing."

"Oh I wouldn't dare, and thank you I'm glad you decided to do the right thing" He gave her his most charming smile, evoking a glare from the authoritative women, Lisbon stared at him in horror like he was about to set the building on fire.

"Jane, just go before I change my mind"

"Okay doo key, oh and by the way, your working those shoes girl!" She stared at the consultant, looking him up and down, before rolling her eyes and said,

"Thank you…nice hat" She walked away laughing to herself. Jane reached up to find the Indian bonnet still neatly placed on his head.

…

He chose an Italian restaurant, nothing too fancy it was a small mom and pop owned place. The décor was gold and crimson red, with fake grape vines lining the back wall.

They sat down at a small table in the middle of the very busy restaurant, they talked and laughed, and enjoyed each other's company. Ignoring the chaos and bustle that they sat right in the middle of.

_We live in a world of darkness and light, of corruption and evil, and integrity and good. Where there is a light there is a shadow, where there is a cloud there is rain, where there is a rose there is a thorn, Where there is a shadow there is light where there is rain there is a rainbow, where there is a thorn there is beautiful flower. It's a horrible, tragic, beautiful, amazing, horrid, awful, and sometimes almost even magical thing. One moment you're in the sunlight and the next you're suffocated by clouds, I may never truly understand the phenomenon called life, but the only way I know how to try is to live it, you will feel its joys but you will also feel it's injustice and pain, the bounty of fruit it has to offer as well as it's famine. Just like a fire it will burn you but it will also give you warmth. Sometimes it is easier to live behind the clouds and not expect the warm sun for with happiness there comes a risk of pain, I have learned that I would rather take that pain, I have searched for my ray of light throughout my stormy life. At last I have found it. I have found it in my friends, in both the hardship we share and the happiness we create. Like moments as these, sitting and basking in each other's company, and at least if just for a moment not dwell on the darkness around us, the thorns that we carry, the blood that we and our loved ones have shed, the monsters that continue to walk freely unknown. Just have our time in the sun; besides I was starting to get a little pale and my life could use a little color, I miss the way its warm rays feel. Even if it's just a sliver, it's my sliver. And it's here alright, in the two faces beside me, in our love and in our friendship, we have created a pocket of hope in a sometimes seemingly hopeless world. I suppose I could say that's what life is, a mixture of shadows and light, But hey what do I know I'm only 14, It could still be a mystery…that's ok too, I like a good mystery. _

"Woo hoo, earth to Lilly" Jane waved his hand in front of the girl's face pulling her from deep thought.

"What were you thinking about?"

"Oh nothing, just if you and I were super heroes, I would be Batman and you would be Robin." He knew that she was lying but decided to play along anyway.

"I could actually see that," Lisbon smiled in response.

"Um I don't think so, first of all we couldn't be super heroes, I don't do tights; they chafe."

"Ok fine then we would be detectives; I'm Sherlock, your Watson."

"Hold on just a second I don't know where you're getting this delusion of superiority but…"

"Are you sure I am, maybe your just projecting"

"Interesting let me think about that…um no it's more of a fact of superiority than a delusion to me, besides Watsons a doctor, I hate doctors."

"Ok fine, one way to settle his…rock paper scissors" They shared a challenging glare

"Alright you're on…" Lisbon watched in amusement as they went at it. The two were evenly matched predicting each other's moves, just as it was looking hopeless, Lilly beat Jane's scissors with rock. She stood up in her chair victoriously, bumping into a waitress behind her who then slipped bringing down Lilly with her, Jane then stood up to catch Lilly but instead ended up slipping on the mess on the floor. As for the waiter's tray full of spaghetti, it landed down the shirt of none other than a certain agent. It was a perfectly choreographed ballet of chaos.

As soon as Jane finally got his balance and helped Lilly up the two burst out in laughter, Lisbon continued to stare on wide eyed in disbelief. Jane casually walked over to the shocked agent whose shirt and face was now decorated with red tomato sauce, he swiped his finger across her check then licked the sauce from his finger.

"Not bad, you know every time I come here I say that they're spaghetti sauce is missing something, but I never thought to tell them to add a little Lisbon." He flashed her his full mega watt smile that she couldn't stay mad at. The three couldn't help but burst out laughing again, opposed to the very disgruntled waitress pulling herself off the ground.

"Look what you've done you little brat" She seethed at Lilly.

"I'm sorry…" She began apologetically.

"No, you don't need to be sorry it was an accident," Jane assured her before turning to the server, "as for you, you don't need to be so snarky, what you can do is get a towel for this lovely young lady" He made a scene gesturing to Lisbon, and as an afterthought added, "oh and as soon as you learn not to be so controlling and aggressive your boyfriend may not be as ashamed by you," The women walked away angrily like a peacock with its feathers ruffled, mumbling what was sure to be insults under her breath.

"I can't take you two anywhere" Lisbon complained playfully rubbing her stained shirt with her napkin. They shrugged their shoulders and gave her their best innocent smiles.

_Oh God, double trouble… you know double trouble might not be that bad after all _she smiled brightly, _yup I wouldn't have it any other way. _

-Just the beginning

…

In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit. ~Albert Schweitzer

I like to end all of my stories with "just the beginning" instead of "the end" but I'm sorry to say this story has reached its end However I am very tempted to do a sequel, I just can't stop thinking about the possibilities that Lilly can bring with the other characters, I'm also thinking about doing a story based off of "AMW327's" plot (major Jisbon) that she posted for grabs it may be called 'Even if you want me to, I won't let you fall'. It's been a pleasure talking with all of you and I hope we can continue to stay in touch. I thank you from the bottom of my heart, take care. *hugs*…sorry had to be done *runs off stage left*


End file.
